We're still here

cult  (kʌlt)
— n
1.	a specific system of religious worship, esp with reference to itsrites and deity
2.	a sect devoted to such a system
3.	a quasi-religious organization using devious psychologicaltechniques to gain and control adherents
4.	sociol  a group having an exclusive ideology and ritual practicescentred on sacred symbols, esp one characterized by lack oforganizational structure
5.	intense interest in and devotion to a person, idea, or activity:the cult of yoga
6.	the person, idea, etc, arousing such devotion
7.	a. something regarded as fashionable or significant by aparticular group
	b. ( as modifier ): a cult show
8.	( modifier ) of, relating to, or characteristic of a cult or cults: acult figure

It is  very sad that their are people out there like Preacher Harold Camping. He is the person who said that the world was coming to an end last week.  He also predicted the same  thing to happen in 1994.

Personally I believe he is a person who feeds off the weak, and those who are without direction.  But for him to achieve the control and manipulation he probably craves he uses those who are still searching for the meaning of life and a connection to God.

I put the definition of a cult at the beginning of this post because every time I have heard of what Mr Camping has said, seen the signs his church has put up , the tracts his people have handed out and the amount of money that has been speculated his church has taken in; the word cult comes to mind.

And when I think of cults I think of David Koresh and the Branch Dividians, Jim Jones and the suicides and, in my opinion, Hitler and the Nazi's.  I don't understand how these men had the abilities  to obviously influence people and manipulate them. Unfortunately, they use God in a perverted way to satisfy whatever needs they have.

And that scares me and angers me.

It scares me because at one time in my life I believe that I was vulnerable enough that worse things could have happened to me than what actually happened. Fortunately for me, I never really looked for God or meaning of life. I did somewhat for awhile but only because at the time it was what I thought I was expected to do.

I don't ever remember really questioning whether or not God existed; honestly before my early twenties I don't ever think I thought much about God at all. But in my mid twenties I read part of the bible for the first time and I saw things in my life which started to show me God's existence and that was/is all I feel the need to know.

My real struggles were/are still dealing with parts of my disability and the fact that I never expected to be 45 and still living alone. And there were a couple of times where women I knew used that to their advantage and ultimately hurt me emotionally.  But I am glad now that those things happened; they helped me to grow. I still fear that I will die without ever finding the right woman, if she exists, but I do have a bit of acceptance that if  that is what God thinks is best for me that is how it will be.

But I fear for those who seem to be weaker minded than me. It bothers me whenever I have heard of people giving their life savings to a church. It bothers me that Mr Camping's church has taken in money because of the billboards  and the attention that they have received.

And it bothers  me that their are people out there who are so vulnerable to not just churches but who are so lost and alone that they put their dependence into people who will just misuse the trust they are given.

And it angers me that there are people out there who prey on the weak and disadvantaged basically because their own needs are all they care about.

Ultimately, for me there are times when it is a little harder to accept that it is all part of God's plan and that even though we may not see it, His will is being done.