I have been wanting to get back to writing this blog on a regular basis but I have been adjusting to have a new roommate and her son is a big adjustment.
And I have been very stressed about whether or not Section 8 would allow her to live with me. Today we got official word that she can stay as my live-in aide which is awesome.
I feel like going from totally living alone one day to virtually having two people living with me the next day is like going from 0-100 mph in 10 seconds.
Fortunately, I am finally starting to adjust and feel that I have the mental capacity to start writing again.
I never would have believed how much noise adding an adult and son would add to the apartment. That is one of the biggest things I have had to get used to. Before having roommates I knew that I really preferred peace and quiet. But now, in the rare moments that there actually is peace and quiet I think I have a new found appreciation for those moments.
Learning to communicate with another person has been a challenge also. In my late teens and twenties I used to think I was a good communicator; then I got married and quickly found out that I was a poor communicator and that it actually takes work. For those that know me "work" is a word and an action that I tend to stay as far away from as possible.
For the most part since I have never been around a lot of people and tend to prefer it that way I never concerned my self with being good at communication. With Amanda that is different. I actually like her and care for her very much so I want to be good at communicating with her so I am actually trying to be better at it.
I have a long way to go but I hope I have improved in the short time she has lived here.
The biggest surprise to me so far is that I actually am really beginning to enjoy having a kid around. For most of my adult life I have wanted nothing to do with kids. In fact, I was very grateful that my ex and I never had a child because that was something I did not want.
Amanda's son, Wyatt, is almost four and amazes me with his intelligence, willing to learn and he is more "mature" that I ever would have thought a child his age would be.
So over all I am happy to have a "family again.
Are things perfect? No. Do Amanda and I always get along and never annoy each other? Heck no.
Are there times when I wish they would go away for a while and give me some peace and quiet? Yep.
But my life is some much happier and enjoyable with them here in my life. And I am grateful.
Now if I could just figure out why I feel like I am having a Doogie Howser moment...
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Disabled means means human but different
To me there has always been a bit of a strange dichotomy about being physically disabled. I want to be treated like any other person but at the same time I want friends and people I know to remember I have a different way of physically doing things.
I will try to give a couple of examples of what I mean. First the one situation for why this subject is on my mind today.
If you have been reading my postings then you probably know I have a younger woman (Amanda) and her son living with me right now. She works long hours most days now as a waitress and by the time she gets home her feet, neck and back are all in a lot of pain. I happen to think I am pretty good at massages and Amanda seems to agree. So, most nights I end up massaging her for a while. Most nights I enjoy it until my hands can't take it any longer.
Last night her feet were really bugging her. Honestly, I didn't want to do it. A night or two off every once in a while would be nice but I did it anyway.
It all started good until she asked me to do the ball of her foot. Now this may sound odd to most of you but I really have no idea where the ball of someone's foot is. I honestly believed it was the heel. Maybe most disabled people are aware of the different part of their anatomy that they are unable to use but that is not me.
After I started rubbing her heel she got upset and said, "no,no,no the ball of my foot. The place where you actually walk on; that's common sense." I was offended and stopped right then and there.
I suppose I have taken a few steps when I was up on my walker and braces but that was not my main way of getting around. And in my mind taking steps in braces seems to be a lot different from you using your own legs to walk.
I feel that I have never truly taken steps; so I am not really aware of the actual process of stepping. And I tried to explain this to her and all that did was frustrate her which just ticked me off. Not a good night all around.
There are also times when I realize a friend really down likes me and forgets about my being disabled for real.
On at least 3-4 occasions I have had friends help me get into their cars by holding my wheelchair so it doesn't move and then forget to put the wheelchair into the trunk before getting into the drivers seat. To me, that is really when someone doesn't think about the extra work they have to go through to take me anywhere and considers it normal. That is truly accepting me for who I am.
The funniest occasions are when people ask me to walk with them. That is hilarious.
I will try to give a couple of examples of what I mean. First the one situation for why this subject is on my mind today.
If you have been reading my postings then you probably know I have a younger woman (Amanda) and her son living with me right now. She works long hours most days now as a waitress and by the time she gets home her feet, neck and back are all in a lot of pain. I happen to think I am pretty good at massages and Amanda seems to agree. So, most nights I end up massaging her for a while. Most nights I enjoy it until my hands can't take it any longer.
Last night her feet were really bugging her. Honestly, I didn't want to do it. A night or two off every once in a while would be nice but I did it anyway.
It all started good until she asked me to do the ball of her foot. Now this may sound odd to most of you but I really have no idea where the ball of someone's foot is. I honestly believed it was the heel. Maybe most disabled people are aware of the different part of their anatomy that they are unable to use but that is not me.
After I started rubbing her heel she got upset and said, "no,no,no the ball of my foot. The place where you actually walk on; that's common sense." I was offended and stopped right then and there.
I suppose I have taken a few steps when I was up on my walker and braces but that was not my main way of getting around. And in my mind taking steps in braces seems to be a lot different from you using your own legs to walk.
I feel that I have never truly taken steps; so I am not really aware of the actual process of stepping. And I tried to explain this to her and all that did was frustrate her which just ticked me off. Not a good night all around.
There are also times when I realize a friend really down likes me and forgets about my being disabled for real.
On at least 3-4 occasions I have had friends help me get into their cars by holding my wheelchair so it doesn't move and then forget to put the wheelchair into the trunk before getting into the drivers seat. To me, that is really when someone doesn't think about the extra work they have to go through to take me anywhere and considers it normal. That is truly accepting me for who I am.
The funniest occasions are when people ask me to walk with them. That is hilarious.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Perspective/perception or insanity
I don't know whether it is a matter of perspective or just an age difference but Amanda got enraged at me the other day and I can't figure a logical understanding of it.
I got an opportunity to talk with her parent's without Amanda around. I had been looking forward to it to get another perspective on what their relationship really was/is with her daughter. I thought that talking to them was a good thing because I am hoping the living situation/relationship will be a long term thing.
Apparently, my perception of the conversation I had the next day with her Dad is an act of betrayal in Amanda's eyes. I am stunned and shocked at the accusation and her harsh reaction.
I knew before I ever had Amanda moved in that she had a shaky relationship with her mother and badly wantedc to be close to her Mom. I also figured that there would probably be issues between the two that I would never be able to understand.
On the day I had the conversation with her parent's I even realized she would probably be unhappy I talked privately with her parents. I never expected the fury I would receive from Amanda.
Without getting into too much detail I felt that I had learned a lot about Amanda's Mom and Amanda herself after talking with Debbie, her Mom. I was evn pleasantly surprised with some mistakes that Debbie admitted to. And since those mistakes meshed with what Amanda had told me I was not surprised and from my reaction I think Debbie knew that Amanda had said something about the situation, specifically; which I think was a normal thing.
Amanda, however has a different interpretation. According to her I should have acted surprised at what Debbie told me and had no idea about what had happened. I still don't understand why what I did was a bad thing but Amanda did tell me never to talk about things she is doing and I can respect that.
But that was not what would surprise, shock and disturb me.
When Amanda works her parents and I split babysitting duties. Normally. I am not a big fan of kids, but I have already grown to love Wyatt. He is an awesome little guy and I really enjoy spending time with him. But I digress.
Since we share kid watching duties I talk to her Dad every day now. The day after I talked with both of Amanda's parents, Rick, her Dad called me to see what was going on and to see if I wanted him to come get Wyatt. In the course of the conversation, Rick asked me what time Amanda was supposed to be home. I told him that since she was late for work I wasn't sure when she would be home. He then asked me what happened and I told him that she had slept through her alarm but fortunately I woke up for some reason and was able to wake her up and get her going toward work.
Somehow, in Amanda's mind this was a huge act of betrayal. I understand that I may have done the wrong thing by talking about her business but an act of betrayal? Honestly that is a huge jump in logic/
I get that she is hurt, that she is questioning how much she can trust me and mad at me. I get that I should not talk about things that are her business. But other than that I don't feel that I did the wrong thing.
But this happened a little over a week ago and she still rehashes it every day. She still question me about every little detail that I can remember. It's like she thinks eventually I am going to give her a different answer to her questions and then she will be satisfied.
In some of the things she has yelled at me she has crossed a line or two but I can deal with that. She has even read some of my private texts to my best friend in which I have vented about the situation. I don't like what she did by invading my privacy but it's too late to be too angry.
I just what to know when this madness will end to a little rationality and calm can return.
Thank you for allowing me to vent. Surprisingly, I don't think she will ever read this because there is one 29 year old who actually doesn't like going online.
I got an opportunity to talk with her parent's without Amanda around. I had been looking forward to it to get another perspective on what their relationship really was/is with her daughter. I thought that talking to them was a good thing because I am hoping the living situation/relationship will be a long term thing.
Apparently, my perception of the conversation I had the next day with her Dad is an act of betrayal in Amanda's eyes. I am stunned and shocked at the accusation and her harsh reaction.
I knew before I ever had Amanda moved in that she had a shaky relationship with her mother and badly wantedc to be close to her Mom. I also figured that there would probably be issues between the two that I would never be able to understand.
On the day I had the conversation with her parent's I even realized she would probably be unhappy I talked privately with her parents. I never expected the fury I would receive from Amanda.
Without getting into too much detail I felt that I had learned a lot about Amanda's Mom and Amanda herself after talking with Debbie, her Mom. I was evn pleasantly surprised with some mistakes that Debbie admitted to. And since those mistakes meshed with what Amanda had told me I was not surprised and from my reaction I think Debbie knew that Amanda had said something about the situation, specifically; which I think was a normal thing.
Amanda, however has a different interpretation. According to her I should have acted surprised at what Debbie told me and had no idea about what had happened. I still don't understand why what I did was a bad thing but Amanda did tell me never to talk about things she is doing and I can respect that.
But that was not what would surprise, shock and disturb me.
When Amanda works her parents and I split babysitting duties. Normally. I am not a big fan of kids, but I have already grown to love Wyatt. He is an awesome little guy and I really enjoy spending time with him. But I digress.
Since we share kid watching duties I talk to her Dad every day now. The day after I talked with both of Amanda's parents, Rick, her Dad called me to see what was going on and to see if I wanted him to come get Wyatt. In the course of the conversation, Rick asked me what time Amanda was supposed to be home. I told him that since she was late for work I wasn't sure when she would be home. He then asked me what happened and I told him that she had slept through her alarm but fortunately I woke up for some reason and was able to wake her up and get her going toward work.
Somehow, in Amanda's mind this was a huge act of betrayal. I understand that I may have done the wrong thing by talking about her business but an act of betrayal? Honestly that is a huge jump in logic/
I get that she is hurt, that she is questioning how much she can trust me and mad at me. I get that I should not talk about things that are her business. But other than that I don't feel that I did the wrong thing.
But this happened a little over a week ago and she still rehashes it every day. She still question me about every little detail that I can remember. It's like she thinks eventually I am going to give her a different answer to her questions and then she will be satisfied.
In some of the things she has yelled at me she has crossed a line or two but I can deal with that. She has even read some of my private texts to my best friend in which I have vented about the situation. I don't like what she did by invading my privacy but it's too late to be too angry.
I just what to know when this madness will end to a little rationality and calm can return.
Thank you for allowing me to vent. Surprisingly, I don't think she will ever read this because there is one 29 year old who actually doesn't like going online.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Dream/reality
For a number of years now I have enjoyed reading Alternative History novels. They are novels where the author takes a historical time period and alters the course of history.
My favorite series of these types of novels so far is Harry Turtledove's, "The World War Saga". In this four novel series Mr Turtledove explores what would have happened if during a pivotal moment during World War II aliens had invaded earth in an effort to conquer the planet.
I believe that I have always been fascinated with "what if..." possibilities.
I really do believe that there are moments in all our lives that if we had done things a little differently, or made different decisions our life paths would have been different.
For me I believe the first life altering moment was at birth; and not just because of the obvious reason. For those of you who may be reading this and may not know: I was born with Cerebral Palsy.
I have done research through the years into what Cerebral Palsy is. And I recall some conversations with my Mom about what may have happened.
I have read and heard CP be called an "accident of birth". To actually know specifically what happened at the moment I was born is, of course, impossible. The speculation is that when the Dr. reached in (probably with forceps) to remove me from my mother he most likely twisted my neck to the point that my nervous system was greatly impacted. That is the theory that I most readily believe and accept. I have been told a couple other theories but they don't make sense and they are not conducive to the point I am actually trying to make.
If what I believe about my birth is true and things had happened differently who knows what I would have been. Maybe I would be the Major League pitcher I always want to be. Maybe the modern day Sandy Koufax, (I am convinced I would have been a lefty no matter what).
What I find interesting is that these "what if?..." scenarios seem to come alive in my dreams.
For anyone who has read my writings the last few days (thanks for the few who have) my new roommate and best friend Amanda has been on my mind a lot. Last night/this morning I had a dream that we were married with four kids and a house with a nice porch. As with most dreams I son't remember much more than that. But it was one of the best dreams I have had in a long time.
Now if I could just go back and time and fix whatever needs to be changed to make it come true.
Anybody got a DeLorean (I hope that is the right car) I can use?
My favorite series of these types of novels so far is Harry Turtledove's, "The World War Saga". In this four novel series Mr Turtledove explores what would have happened if during a pivotal moment during World War II aliens had invaded earth in an effort to conquer the planet.
I believe that I have always been fascinated with "what if..." possibilities.
I really do believe that there are moments in all our lives that if we had done things a little differently, or made different decisions our life paths would have been different.
For me I believe the first life altering moment was at birth; and not just because of the obvious reason. For those of you who may be reading this and may not know: I was born with Cerebral Palsy.
I have done research through the years into what Cerebral Palsy is. And I recall some conversations with my Mom about what may have happened.
I have read and heard CP be called an "accident of birth". To actually know specifically what happened at the moment I was born is, of course, impossible. The speculation is that when the Dr. reached in (probably with forceps) to remove me from my mother he most likely twisted my neck to the point that my nervous system was greatly impacted. That is the theory that I most readily believe and accept. I have been told a couple other theories but they don't make sense and they are not conducive to the point I am actually trying to make.
If what I believe about my birth is true and things had happened differently who knows what I would have been. Maybe I would be the Major League pitcher I always want to be. Maybe the modern day Sandy Koufax, (I am convinced I would have been a lefty no matter what).
What I find interesting is that these "what if?..." scenarios seem to come alive in my dreams.
For anyone who has read my writings the last few days (thanks for the few who have) my new roommate and best friend Amanda has been on my mind a lot. Last night/this morning I had a dream that we were married with four kids and a house with a nice porch. As with most dreams I son't remember much more than that. But it was one of the best dreams I have had in a long time.
Now if I could just go back and time and fix whatever needs to be changed to make it come true.
Anybody got a DeLorean (I hope that is the right car) I can use?
Monday, June 18, 2012
Does anyone hear
Normally, I don't blog twice in one day but I feel the need to.
If anyone who reads this just thinks I am whining and crying like a wimp; you are entitled to your opinion and think what you will about me.
My Mom was right when she told me this world doesn't have to be fair. I truly do know that we all are really alone in this life and have to do the best we can with what we have with what we got. I believe those things really are truths of the reality of life.
And even though I normally cringe inside when I hear the statements: "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" and "Things happen for a reason", I have my doubts but I believe they are truths about the reality of life also.
But I am just at the point where I feel that no one is really listening to me I have explained to my Dr., Section 8 counselor, landlord and even Amanda that I know that I can no longer handle living alone and none of them seem to be REALLY, REALLY listening.
And it hurts me, angers me, frustrates me and I feel like I am at the end of the rope so to speak.
I write this now because Amanda said to me "Well, if the Dr. won't write the note, I'll just have to move out." Just like she doesn't want to but it is no big deal. It is more than a big deal to me. But no one seems to be hearing me.
Don't get me wrong, if the very worst comes down and I have to live alone again; I will find a way to do so. I have gotten through worse.
Mom said I am like the rotor rooter of life I just take in the crap and keep on going.
What really bothers me right now is that people seem to be listening but no one seems to be really HEARING me and really caring about me.
It is most likely selfish that I feel this way. But is that not something every one of us has gone through at one time or another?
Being human is never easy and the challenges seem overwhelming some times.
I am very overwhelmed and I don't know how I will make it.
And God, if you are listening and hearing. Please help.
If anyone who reads this just thinks I am whining and crying like a wimp; you are entitled to your opinion and think what you will about me.
My Mom was right when she told me this world doesn't have to be fair. I truly do know that we all are really alone in this life and have to do the best we can with what we have with what we got. I believe those things really are truths of the reality of life.
And even though I normally cringe inside when I hear the statements: "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" and "Things happen for a reason", I have my doubts but I believe they are truths about the reality of life also.
But I am just at the point where I feel that no one is really listening to me I have explained to my Dr., Section 8 counselor, landlord and even Amanda that I know that I can no longer handle living alone and none of them seem to be REALLY, REALLY listening.
And it hurts me, angers me, frustrates me and I feel like I am at the end of the rope so to speak.
I write this now because Amanda said to me "Well, if the Dr. won't write the note, I'll just have to move out." Just like she doesn't want to but it is no big deal. It is more than a big deal to me. But no one seems to be hearing me.
Don't get me wrong, if the very worst comes down and I have to live alone again; I will find a way to do so. I have gotten through worse.
Mom said I am like the rotor rooter of life I just take in the crap and keep on going.
What really bothers me right now is that people seem to be listening but no one seems to be really HEARING me and really caring about me.
It is most likely selfish that I feel this way. But is that not something every one of us has gone through at one time or another?
Being human is never easy and the challenges seem overwhelming some times.
I am very overwhelmed and I don't know how I will make it.
And God, if you are listening and hearing. Please help.
Am I too simpl minded?
I have never thought of myself as a complicated person and I never wanted to be too complicated. I don't think I am a simpleton either. From time to time I have done things that would appear to be not too intelligent but I really think I am not alone in that.
I have tried to cut down on the number of political articles that I read and political shows that I view. I have come to the conclusion that on a national basis there really is no such thing as unbiased political shows or reporting. So it is pretty much a useless waste of time to view or read those types of things.
Earlier today while checking my email I received a message from Twitter that
{ Please excuse the bad formatting, apparently copying and pasting from my email was not the best thing to do}.
I have heard of the guy and believed he had conservative views. I was also bored so I thought what the heck. clicked on an article link and started to read. http://www.a2zpublications.com/blog/38/Neo-con%E2%80%99s-impact. I am posting the link just in case anyone reading this is interested.
I tend to read a lot of things on a daily basis. I like keeping my mind occupied. And I would like to think that I understand 95-99% if what I read.
But every once in a while I read something that I know is English but it makes no or little sense at all.
Once I saw the title of the blog I figured it was to be about Neo-Conservatives because I had thought that I had had heard the term before and I figured they were a group of people who may be even more conservative that Rush Limbaugh. I consider myself to be almost Liberal when compared to him but I know his points of view are shared by many. But I digress.
But as I continued the blog I got the sense that Mr Krieg was actually writing about extreme liberals until some part of my mind seem to indicate that I had heard that President Obama actually was actually more in favor of the Palestinians than the Isreali's.
For the record I don't really follow what is going on in the Middle East so I will readily admit that I probably don't have any idea who supports who.
As I continued to read some thoughts came to me. First, am I too simple minded to understand things like what is actually going on in the Middle East? Do most Americans really think about what is going on outside of our own continent? I can't remember the last time I had a conversation about any political matter that was not about National or State issues.
And finally, I began to wonder if Mr Krieg's view didn't seem like a bit of a conspiracy theory type of thing to me.
I honestly have not heard of a single conspiracy theory angle that I ever thought was accurate. I have known a few people who have seemed to believe every conspiracy angle ever uttered.
And I have always come away from people who believe those types of things as a.) have too much time of their hands and B.) want to tie up loose ends in a tight little package where no real air tight answers really exist.
Or maybe I am just to simple minded and unintelligent to understand. I just hope I am not too dumb to know.
I have tried to cut down on the number of political articles that I read and political shows that I view. I have come to the conclusion that on a national basis there really is no such thing as unbiased political shows or reporting. So it is pretty much a useless waste of time to view or read those types of things.
Earlier today while checking my email I received a message from Twitter that
Adrian krieg @DrAdrianKrieg is following me. |
I have heard of the guy and believed he had conservative views. I was also bored so I thought what the heck. clicked on an article link and started to read. http://www.a2zpublications.com/blog/38/Neo-con%E2%80%99s-impact. I am posting the link just in case anyone reading this is interested.
I tend to read a lot of things on a daily basis. I like keeping my mind occupied. And I would like to think that I understand 95-99% if what I read.
But every once in a while I read something that I know is English but it makes no or little sense at all.
Once I saw the title of the blog I figured it was to be about Neo-Conservatives because I had thought that I had had heard the term before and I figured they were a group of people who may be even more conservative that Rush Limbaugh. I consider myself to be almost Liberal when compared to him but I know his points of view are shared by many. But I digress.
But as I continued the blog I got the sense that Mr Krieg was actually writing about extreme liberals until some part of my mind seem to indicate that I had heard that President Obama actually was actually more in favor of the Palestinians than the Isreali's.
For the record I don't really follow what is going on in the Middle East so I will readily admit that I probably don't have any idea who supports who.
As I continued to read some thoughts came to me. First, am I too simple minded to understand things like what is actually going on in the Middle East? Do most Americans really think about what is going on outside of our own continent? I can't remember the last time I had a conversation about any political matter that was not about National or State issues.
And finally, I began to wonder if Mr Krieg's view didn't seem like a bit of a conspiracy theory type of thing to me.
I honestly have not heard of a single conspiracy theory angle that I ever thought was accurate. I have known a few people who have seemed to believe every conspiracy angle ever uttered.
And I have always come away from people who believe those types of things as a.) have too much time of their hands and B.) want to tie up loose ends in a tight little package where no real air tight answers really exist.
Or maybe I am just to simple minded and unintelligent to understand. I just hope I am not too dumb to know.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Government enforced solitude.
I haven't really had a chance to write during the last month because I am adjusting to having a "family".
In my last posting I wrote,'' I don't want Amanda to leave at all. She and her son have helped me mentally, physically and emotionally. There have been plenty of moments where it has felt like having a family of my own. And this situation may be the only way that I will have to feel like I have a family of my own.
I want to be there for her as she gets her life together. I want to see her son, Wyatt grow up and see what kind of person he will become. I would like to have some influence in his life and I would like to be a positive role model in his life.
I want to experience the closest thing to a daily family life that I will probably ever have available to me. I want to have a life with people I truly love and care about.
I want to learn how to live and care about something other than just me."
All that is even more true today then when I originally posted it. I am very thoroughly enjoying having Amanda and her son here and they feel more like family with each passing day.
There is only one problem with the situation and it has little to do with Amanda and Wyatt. I having been living in an apartment with the aide of Section 8. I contacted them a few weeks ago to inform them of the situation and to see what could be done to legally have roommates.
I guess it was silly or naive for me to believe that they could be pro-rated (I think that is the right term) into my lease. That seemed like a simple enough solution to me. I understand and completely agree that the government should not have to pay for someone who is living with me.
But I don't think that I should be forced to be alone either. And that seems to be what they want. When I called Section 8 I was told that I would have to have a Dr's note saying that it is medically NECESSARY for me to have a live in care taker. I went to the Dr's office and he wrote a note saying "that it would be BENEFICIAL for me to have a live in caretaker."
I have not injured myself in a few years since I sprained my ankle transferring from my wheelchair to my bed. But it is honestly getting more difficult to go from the wheelchair to bed or wheelchair to tub. I feel a lot more comfortable having a spotter now. So from that standpoint the Dr. is technically correct.
But for Section 8's purposes "beneficial" is not good enough.
I honestly do believe it is medically necessary for me to have someone living with me for mental and emotional purposes. From what I can remember I think I moved out of my parent's house in August 1984. Since then I have probably lived with another person for a total of 11/2-2 years total.
I don't know if anyone who may read this will understand. Almost 30 years of living alone is too much for me. I try my best to get out of the apartment everyday. I have some friends and during the daytime I am OK. But I don't get out at night too much. And, believe it or not that has become too much for me.
I am not asking for pity, I'm not asking for special consideration.
At the moment, it is not financially feasible for Amanda and I to move. I actually want to move so I don't live next to a four lane road. With my Social Security and Amanda's part time job we can't afford to stay here.
Why does it have to be a medically necessary situation? Why can't there be a practical solution?
I understand an agency wanting to have responsible people they are helping. But Amanda passed a background check, why isn't that good enough?
For now all I know to do is go back to the Dr. and see if he will help.
Seventy dollars for another Dr's visit WITH Medicaid. Thanks President Obama, you're no help at all.
In my last posting I wrote,'' I don't want Amanda to leave at all. She and her son have helped me mentally, physically and emotionally. There have been plenty of moments where it has felt like having a family of my own. And this situation may be the only way that I will have to feel like I have a family of my own.
I want to be there for her as she gets her life together. I want to see her son, Wyatt grow up and see what kind of person he will become. I would like to have some influence in his life and I would like to be a positive role model in his life.
I want to experience the closest thing to a daily family life that I will probably ever have available to me. I want to have a life with people I truly love and care about.
I want to learn how to live and care about something other than just me."
All that is even more true today then when I originally posted it. I am very thoroughly enjoying having Amanda and her son here and they feel more like family with each passing day.
There is only one problem with the situation and it has little to do with Amanda and Wyatt. I having been living in an apartment with the aide of Section 8. I contacted them a few weeks ago to inform them of the situation and to see what could be done to legally have roommates.
I guess it was silly or naive for me to believe that they could be pro-rated (I think that is the right term) into my lease. That seemed like a simple enough solution to me. I understand and completely agree that the government should not have to pay for someone who is living with me.
But I don't think that I should be forced to be alone either. And that seems to be what they want. When I called Section 8 I was told that I would have to have a Dr's note saying that it is medically NECESSARY for me to have a live in care taker. I went to the Dr's office and he wrote a note saying "that it would be BENEFICIAL for me to have a live in caretaker."
I have not injured myself in a few years since I sprained my ankle transferring from my wheelchair to my bed. But it is honestly getting more difficult to go from the wheelchair to bed or wheelchair to tub. I feel a lot more comfortable having a spotter now. So from that standpoint the Dr. is technically correct.
But for Section 8's purposes "beneficial" is not good enough.
I honestly do believe it is medically necessary for me to have someone living with me for mental and emotional purposes. From what I can remember I think I moved out of my parent's house in August 1984. Since then I have probably lived with another person for a total of 11/2-2 years total.
I don't know if anyone who may read this will understand. Almost 30 years of living alone is too much for me. I try my best to get out of the apartment everyday. I have some friends and during the daytime I am OK. But I don't get out at night too much. And, believe it or not that has become too much for me.
I am not asking for pity, I'm not asking for special consideration.
At the moment, it is not financially feasible for Amanda and I to move. I actually want to move so I don't live next to a four lane road. With my Social Security and Amanda's part time job we can't afford to stay here.
Why does it have to be a medically necessary situation? Why can't there be a practical solution?
I understand an agency wanting to have responsible people they are helping. But Amanda passed a background check, why isn't that good enough?
For now all I know to do is go back to the Dr. and see if he will help.
Seventy dollars for another Dr's visit WITH Medicaid. Thanks President Obama, you're no help at all.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Life's little reminders
I was born in a small Michigan town. I lived there until I was around six. For a number of years after our family moved away we would visit our Michigan family a few times a year.
Essentially, I have a number of cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, etc... etc that I grew up with that I haven't seen in a couple of decades at least.
One of the wonderful things about Facebook is that I have been able to reconnect with a number of old classmates and family members.
In the last six months, I have found out that the world really can be a small place sometimes. I find it amazing one of my cousins actually lives within 30 miles of me and has for a number of years.
It was around Christmas that we discovered how close we live to each other.
Cousin Martha and I have chatted online a few time and we have talked on the phone and have discussed meeting each other a building a relationship again. I really would like to do that but since I am a natural procrastinator I have put it off.
There are times when life shows you that putting things off is not a good thing to do.
A couple days ago I found out that another cousin that I had reconnected with through Facebook had died.
Cousin Charles posted messages on Facebook pretty much on a daily basis and I had begun to look forward to his postings.I especially looked forward to his postings about his beloved Detroit Tigers and I had hope to follow his postings throughout the season.
It's sad to hear of someones passing but it is good to be reminded that there will come a day when there will be no tomorrow on this earth.
Be sure to take care of the important things while you here.
And always remember to tell and show your loved ones that you truly do love them; while your still able to.
Essentially, I have a number of cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, etc... etc that I grew up with that I haven't seen in a couple of decades at least.
One of the wonderful things about Facebook is that I have been able to reconnect with a number of old classmates and family members.
In the last six months, I have found out that the world really can be a small place sometimes. I find it amazing one of my cousins actually lives within 30 miles of me and has for a number of years.
It was around Christmas that we discovered how close we live to each other.
Cousin Martha and I have chatted online a few time and we have talked on the phone and have discussed meeting each other a building a relationship again. I really would like to do that but since I am a natural procrastinator I have put it off.
There are times when life shows you that putting things off is not a good thing to do.
A couple days ago I found out that another cousin that I had reconnected with through Facebook had died.
Cousin Charles posted messages on Facebook pretty much on a daily basis and I had begun to look forward to his postings.I especially looked forward to his postings about his beloved Detroit Tigers and I had hope to follow his postings throughout the season.
It's sad to hear of someones passing but it is good to be reminded that there will come a day when there will be no tomorrow on this earth.
Be sure to take care of the important things while you here.
And always remember to tell and show your loved ones that you truly do love them; while your still able to.
Friday, May 18, 2012
An umpire suspended FINALLY!
One of the basic life lessons that I believe is that one way or another you are accountable for you actions.
I truly believe that if I do a wrong thing I will get bad results. Basically, you get what you deserve.
I have been following Major League Baseball since around 1974. In all these years I only have a vague memory of an umpire being suspended once before.
I have tried looking for a previous umpire suspension but, as of now, I have been unable to do so.
The main point I want to make is that umpires never seem to really be held accountable for their actions.
I have read and heard that every umpire is monitored and graded on their performance. But I have never understood why their grades and performance levels are not ever revealed. I understand that MLB wants the umpire's images to be one of total competence and authoritative. But if player's faults are consistently exposed why should the umpires receive the same treatment?
But it has been obvious on numerous occasions that certain umpires feel the need to be part of the entertainment.
Bob Davidson, the umpire who was suspended today, and "Cowboy" Joe West are the two biggest "offenders" currently in MLB. I remember a couple of games where Mr West seemed to be looking to get into arguments with managers and players.
While I am on the subject of umpiring: Why doesn't MLB enforce a standard strike zone? There is supposed to be a strike zone from the lettering on the chest down to a players knees and only as wide as the plate. It has been my understanding that each umpire should be enforcing that strike zone and be consistent on every pitch.
That is my personal biggest complaint about the umpiring in the game today. Personally I think MLB need to do a weekly review of what the strike zone is supposed to be with EVERY umpire and the ones who are the most inconsistent should be sent back to the minors until they consistently call the correct strike zone.
For the record I absolutely do not like official replays in any sport. Just play the game, accidents happen.
I truly believe that if I do a wrong thing I will get bad results. Basically, you get what you deserve.
I have been following Major League Baseball since around 1974. In all these years I only have a vague memory of an umpire being suspended once before.
I have tried looking for a previous umpire suspension but, as of now, I have been unable to do so.
The main point I want to make is that umpires never seem to really be held accountable for their actions.
I have read and heard that every umpire is monitored and graded on their performance. But I have never understood why their grades and performance levels are not ever revealed. I understand that MLB wants the umpire's images to be one of total competence and authoritative. But if player's faults are consistently exposed why should the umpires receive the same treatment?
But it has been obvious on numerous occasions that certain umpires feel the need to be part of the entertainment.
Bob Davidson, the umpire who was suspended today, and "Cowboy" Joe West are the two biggest "offenders" currently in MLB. I remember a couple of games where Mr West seemed to be looking to get into arguments with managers and players.
While I am on the subject of umpiring: Why doesn't MLB enforce a standard strike zone? There is supposed to be a strike zone from the lettering on the chest down to a players knees and only as wide as the plate. It has been my understanding that each umpire should be enforcing that strike zone and be consistent on every pitch.
That is my personal biggest complaint about the umpiring in the game today. Personally I think MLB need to do a weekly review of what the strike zone is supposed to be with EVERY umpire and the ones who are the most inconsistent should be sent back to the minors until they consistently call the correct strike zone.
For the record I absolutely do not like official replays in any sport. Just play the game, accidents happen.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Can an older dog change his thinking.
I haven't written in a while because I was frustrated by the lack of feedback from those who were reading what I wrote.
I had started writing in the hopes that I would "meet" new people and hopefully hear different viewpoints.
So far that hasn't really happened.
But I realize that for me writing is a healthy way for me to express myself and I think it helps me to think more logically and get my thoughts and ideas in order.
I have made enough mistakes, done things that have left me with bad credit and built up a huge enough student loan that I will probably never come close to paying off. I have messed up my life bad enough that I live off the government. I'm not proud of it and I never envisioned things being this way.
I am the result of what happens when you have no goals, no real aspirations and didn't care about what I should have cared about.
I have lived 20+ years by myself and for the most part I enjoyed living alone.
Recently, I had a good friend come back into my life. She's in her late 20's with a 3 year old son. Her situation was so bad that it was either have her go to a shelter or stay with me. There was no way that I was going to have her stay in a shelter. She's a really good person with a great heart and is full of life.
She has been here almost 3 weeks now and I have thoroughly enjoyed have her here and I really want her to stay.Since leaving my parent's home at 18 I have not had many living situations that felt like I was with family. The last time I believe I felt this way was in the first year of my five year marriage.
On the few occasions I have had someone stay with me for a little while I have regretted it after a few days. In almost weeks I have really enjoyed have Amanda here and she has helped my life be a lot better by helping me around the apartment.
The problem is that there have been two instances that were not Amanda's fault that have irked the manager off to the point she wants Amanda to leave.
For a few days we let another friend stay here and that was a huge disaster. Dumb move on my part. One of the days the friend stayed her she got Amanda's car keys and moved the car by the pool and turned the music up. By all accounts the neighbors saw Amanda's friend drive the car to the pool and Amanda moved the car as soon as she knew what was happening.
The second incident was all my fault. I received the notice from the landlord that the parking lots were going to be repaved and that all cars had to be moved at 8 am. I forgot to tell Amanda that and so she didn't move the car a didn't answer the door when the landlord knocked because she thought it was her friend trying to get back in the apartment. If I had told her to move her car that wouldn't have happened.
Originally, I had wanted Amanda to stay as long as it takes for her to get back on her feet. And we told the manager that Amanda was just was waiting for her apartment to be ready because we figured that would buy some time. I have reason to believe the manager will ask her to leave tomorrow.
I don't want Amanda to leave at all. She and her son have helped me mentally, physically and emotionally. There have been plenty of moments where it has felt like having a family of my own. And this situation may be the only way that I will have to feel like I have a family of my own.
I want to be there for her as she gets her life together. I want to see her son, Wyatt grow up and see what kind of person he will become. I would like to have some influence in his life and I would like to be a positive role model in his life.
I want to experience the closest thing to a daily family life that I will probably ever have available to me. I want to have a life with people I truly love and care about.
I want to learn how to live and care about something other than just me.
I had started writing in the hopes that I would "meet" new people and hopefully hear different viewpoints.
So far that hasn't really happened.
But I realize that for me writing is a healthy way for me to express myself and I think it helps me to think more logically and get my thoughts and ideas in order.
I have made enough mistakes, done things that have left me with bad credit and built up a huge enough student loan that I will probably never come close to paying off. I have messed up my life bad enough that I live off the government. I'm not proud of it and I never envisioned things being this way.
I am the result of what happens when you have no goals, no real aspirations and didn't care about what I should have cared about.
I have lived 20+ years by myself and for the most part I enjoyed living alone.
Recently, I had a good friend come back into my life. She's in her late 20's with a 3 year old son. Her situation was so bad that it was either have her go to a shelter or stay with me. There was no way that I was going to have her stay in a shelter. She's a really good person with a great heart and is full of life.
She has been here almost 3 weeks now and I have thoroughly enjoyed have her here and I really want her to stay.Since leaving my parent's home at 18 I have not had many living situations that felt like I was with family. The last time I believe I felt this way was in the first year of my five year marriage.
On the few occasions I have had someone stay with me for a little while I have regretted it after a few days. In almost weeks I have really enjoyed have Amanda here and she has helped my life be a lot better by helping me around the apartment.
The problem is that there have been two instances that were not Amanda's fault that have irked the manager off to the point she wants Amanda to leave.
For a few days we let another friend stay here and that was a huge disaster. Dumb move on my part. One of the days the friend stayed her she got Amanda's car keys and moved the car by the pool and turned the music up. By all accounts the neighbors saw Amanda's friend drive the car to the pool and Amanda moved the car as soon as she knew what was happening.
The second incident was all my fault. I received the notice from the landlord that the parking lots were going to be repaved and that all cars had to be moved at 8 am. I forgot to tell Amanda that and so she didn't move the car a didn't answer the door when the landlord knocked because she thought it was her friend trying to get back in the apartment. If I had told her to move her car that wouldn't have happened.
Originally, I had wanted Amanda to stay as long as it takes for her to get back on her feet. And we told the manager that Amanda was just was waiting for her apartment to be ready because we figured that would buy some time. I have reason to believe the manager will ask her to leave tomorrow.
I don't want Amanda to leave at all. She and her son have helped me mentally, physically and emotionally. There have been plenty of moments where it has felt like having a family of my own. And this situation may be the only way that I will have to feel like I have a family of my own.
I want to be there for her as she gets her life together. I want to see her son, Wyatt grow up and see what kind of person he will become. I would like to have some influence in his life and I would like to be a positive role model in his life.
I want to experience the closest thing to a daily family life that I will probably ever have available to me. I want to have a life with people I truly love and care about.
I want to learn how to live and care about something other than just me.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Final four thoughts
When I wrote that I was "officially putting myself on the clock", I meant that I was going to start writing baseball related blogs for the foreseeable future. However, for some reason I forgot that today was the final four.
Since I want to really get back into the habit of writing on a regular basis I thought I would write some observations about the Final Four.
I want to be sure to let who ever may be reading this to know that I am not a huge basketball fan. I don't feel that I really understand it very well. So any observations are probably not as knowledgeable as they probably should be.
For starters, can I just say that Nike is getting way too out of control when it comes to uniforms. Call me old fashioned but I don't like to many variations of teams uniforms. The Oregon football and basketball uniforms are the worst offenders of them all. It seems like Nike runs the program and not its administration.
But today, when I turned on the first game I immediately was confused because it looked like Syracuse was playing and I knew that couldn't be right because I knew Louisville was playing Kentucky. Louisville's primary color has always been red as far as I am concerned. I mean they are the Louisville Cardinals, right? As far as I know there are no orange cardinals. I want to thank the announcers for telling their viewers that we did not have to adjust our TV sets.
I guess now a days money talks and traditions doesn't matter at all. I think that is a real shame.
For me there was a bit of a running theme throughout both games: Kentucky and Ohio State came on strong in the first halves and tried coasting through the second half.
Before Kentucky-Louisville began I really thought that Kentucky would win in a blowout. I have a lot of respect for Rick Pitino and the Cardinals. There are a lot of teams that would have "thrown in the towel" at halftime and phone it in during the second half.
Going into the Ohio State - Kansas game I thought the Buckeyes (my second favorite college team) was going to the championship game. Honestly, I saw the whole game but I just don't understand how they blew it late in the second half. It's one of the few times like I feel I missed something in the game. It didn't seem to me like Kansas was playing all that great but they got the win. Congratulations to the Jayhawks.
I'm not going to really try to pick the winner but I do think Kentucky is the best team I have seen all season.
For my Ohio friends and family; sorry but I have been in Florida much longer than I lived in Ohio and I am smack dab in the middle of Gator country. Go Gators!!!
Now lets get baseball season going.
Since I want to really get back into the habit of writing on a regular basis I thought I would write some observations about the Final Four.
I want to be sure to let who ever may be reading this to know that I am not a huge basketball fan. I don't feel that I really understand it very well. So any observations are probably not as knowledgeable as they probably should be.
For starters, can I just say that Nike is getting way too out of control when it comes to uniforms. Call me old fashioned but I don't like to many variations of teams uniforms. The Oregon football and basketball uniforms are the worst offenders of them all. It seems like Nike runs the program and not its administration.
But today, when I turned on the first game I immediately was confused because it looked like Syracuse was playing and I knew that couldn't be right because I knew Louisville was playing Kentucky. Louisville's primary color has always been red as far as I am concerned. I mean they are the Louisville Cardinals, right? As far as I know there are no orange cardinals. I want to thank the announcers for telling their viewers that we did not have to adjust our TV sets.
I guess now a days money talks and traditions doesn't matter at all. I think that is a real shame.
For me there was a bit of a running theme throughout both games: Kentucky and Ohio State came on strong in the first halves and tried coasting through the second half.
Before Kentucky-Louisville began I really thought that Kentucky would win in a blowout. I have a lot of respect for Rick Pitino and the Cardinals. There are a lot of teams that would have "thrown in the towel" at halftime and phone it in during the second half.
Going into the Ohio State - Kansas game I thought the Buckeyes (my second favorite college team) was going to the championship game. Honestly, I saw the whole game but I just don't understand how they blew it late in the second half. It's one of the few times like I feel I missed something in the game. It didn't seem to me like Kansas was playing all that great but they got the win. Congratulations to the Jayhawks.
I'm not going to really try to pick the winner but I do think Kentucky is the best team I have seen all season.
For my Ohio friends and family; sorry but I have been in Florida much longer than I lived in Ohio and I am smack dab in the middle of Gator country. Go Gators!!!
Now lets get baseball season going.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Back again--and explanation.
The worst thing about getting out of the habit of writing every day is that it's hard to get going again.
I was researching Mark McGwire's but there was a discrepancy in his stats that I didn't understand and for some reason it took me a few days to figure it out.
I have found out that when I really don't understand something I tend to look for the hard answer instead of the simple answer that is right in front of my eyes. In this case, he was traded from Oakland to St. Louis in 1997 and Baseball Perspective had that season's stats broken down in a simple way that I failed to understand for a few days. Yes, I am mentally slow for real sometimes.
I believe that part of the problem is that for some reason I go into a weird depression /funk from January through March every year. I believe it is so,me form a a mental block I put myself through but don't know how to break. I don't know if that is true; but it is what I believe.
It has not helped that a unforseen issue came up this month and that has taxed me mentally and emotionally also.
With that being said, it was and is my intention to at least act as though I am a real baseball writer this season. I am buying the MLB.TV package and intend to daily blog about the season. It would be better to actually have the ability to go to games and do interviews but this is the best I can do.
Since the season starts Wednesday, and I want to finish up the "Steroid ERA HOFer's" and predictions for this season; I am "officially" putting myself on the clock tomorrow and will get caught up by Wednesday.
At least that is the plan.
I was researching Mark McGwire's but there was a discrepancy in his stats that I didn't understand and for some reason it took me a few days to figure it out.
I have found out that when I really don't understand something I tend to look for the hard answer instead of the simple answer that is right in front of my eyes. In this case, he was traded from Oakland to St. Louis in 1997 and Baseball Perspective had that season's stats broken down in a simple way that I failed to understand for a few days. Yes, I am mentally slow for real sometimes.
I believe that part of the problem is that for some reason I go into a weird depression /funk from January through March every year. I believe it is so,me form a a mental block I put myself through but don't know how to break. I don't know if that is true; but it is what I believe.
It has not helped that a unforseen issue came up this month and that has taxed me mentally and emotionally also.
With that being said, it was and is my intention to at least act as though I am a real baseball writer this season. I am buying the MLB.TV package and intend to daily blog about the season. It would be better to actually have the ability to go to games and do interviews but this is the best I can do.
Since the season starts Wednesday, and I want to finish up the "Steroid ERA HOFer's" and predictions for this season; I am "officially" putting myself on the clock tomorrow and will get caught up by Wednesday.
At least that is the plan.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Steroid era possible HOF's Part 3:Bonds, McGwire, Sosa
Originally, I was going to write this post around the first of the month but a situation came up that proved to be a big distraction and I delayed writing this. I'm still slightly distracted but not as much as I was.
If there is anyone who was looking forward to what I was going to write next I apologize for the delay.
I had to go back to what I wrote to know where to begin.
I was astonished to find that Barry Bonds home run pace had greatly increased but his slugging % declined after 1997. I think most "experts" believe that was around the time that Bonds "probably" started using steroids. I would have thought that if steroids really do help players hit the ball harder that both home runs and slugging % would greatly increase.
I was hoping that by looking at Barry Bonds' statistics I would be able to some conclusion about whether or not (a) he may have used steroids and (b) whether his "possible" steroid usage should bar him from inclusion into the baseball Hall of Fame.
I still believe he definitely belongs in the HOF. I believe that either with/without steroids help his was the best hitter in the game while he was playing. And as much as I hate to say it he is the best hitter I have seen since I have been watching baseball. I am not a Pete Rose fan either but I would have to put Rose at #2B.
But looking at Bonds" statistics did not help me come to any possible conclusions about possible steroids usage.
So I have decided to look at the career stats of Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. Sosa, McGwire and Bonds are the players who are most closely associated with "possible" steroid usage.
It is my hope that comparing their statistics will help me come to some kind of clusion about steroid usage and HOF eligibility.
I will start with Mark McGwire in my next post.
If there is anyone who was looking forward to what I was going to write next I apologize for the delay.
I had to go back to what I wrote to know where to begin.
I was astonished to find that Barry Bonds home run pace had greatly increased but his slugging % declined after 1997. I think most "experts" believe that was around the time that Bonds "probably" started using steroids. I would have thought that if steroids really do help players hit the ball harder that both home runs and slugging % would greatly increase.
I was hoping that by looking at Barry Bonds' statistics I would be able to some conclusion about whether or not (a) he may have used steroids and (b) whether his "possible" steroid usage should bar him from inclusion into the baseball Hall of Fame.
I still believe he definitely belongs in the HOF. I believe that either with/without steroids help his was the best hitter in the game while he was playing. And as much as I hate to say it he is the best hitter I have seen since I have been watching baseball. I am not a Pete Rose fan either but I would have to put Rose at #2B.
But looking at Bonds" statistics did not help me come to any possible conclusions about possible steroids usage.
So I have decided to look at the career stats of Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. Sosa, McGwire and Bonds are the players who are most closely associated with "possible" steroid usage.
It is my hope that comparing their statistics will help me come to some kind of clusion about steroid usage and HOF eligibility.
I will start with Mark McGwire in my next post.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Steroid era possible HOF's part 2: Defending Barry Bonds
I think I have learned to really look at the numbers when looking at a players career. And I mean all the numbers you think are relevant.
And I believe that I also learned that Slugging % is a bigger indicator of what a player is doing than I previously thought. I did not value Slugging % because I knew it involved calculating total bases and I placed no real value on that part of the equation. Now I think I was wrong. Oh, well me being wrong is pretty much a daily thing.
But before I get to the slugging numbers I want to make one point I forgot to make yesterday about Barry Bonds home run numbers. After I figured out the home run split between 86-97 and 98-07 I averaged the homers between the splits. From 86-97 he averaged 31 per year and from 98-07 he averaged 38 per season but the second split does not really matter for my purposes.
What does matter is I took the 31 per season between 86-07; then added the home runs he might have hit if he had stayed at the 31 per season level (372) and the 374 he hit between 86-91 for a possible career total of 746. Either way Barry Bonds is the home run king and Major League Baseball should remove the asterisk from his statistics. And I think on homers alone Barry Bonds is a first ballot HOF'er.
NOTE: Writer's block is a terrible thing. I have been trying to finish this the last few days but it seems like everything I have written has been gibberish. Yes, you can add the joke here.
Since I have written this in the sequence I did the research I will look at Bonds' On Base % (OBP). I find it some what amazing that I failed miserably in algebra but when I saw the formula for finding a player's on base % it looked like algebra and I understood it. Maybe if I would have found a way to use baseball to learn algebra I might have actually passed the class. Oh well, it's only 20+ years to late for that.
Anyway, I have thought for years that other than batting average a player's OBP was the best way to judge how good they were. I may have slightly altered my thinking on that but I will get to that later.
In the time between seasons 86-97 Bonds OBP was .408%. From 98-07 his OBP was .496%. I calculated the difference to be .088% and to me that is a somewhat major difference. I would have expected both the HR numbers and OBP to be significantly higher if the "experts" were right about how steroids greatly help a players abilities.
Even though I still think the increase in home runs can still be attributed to Bonds becoming a better hitter; the OBP numbers are more significant to me and has me questioning my thinking a little.
And then I got to the Slugging % (SLG% ) and was astonished at what I found out. From 86-97 Barry Bonds SLG% was .551%. From 98-07 Bonds' SLG% was .670%. That is a percentage point difference of .119 and that is a major difference to me.
My understanding of what a SLG % means is not the just the average a player hits a but in includes the amount of total bases and my understanding is a bit hazy on this but I believe its and indicator of power. I have always figured it to mean that with a greater number of doubles and triples a players SLG% increases. If anyone who reads this can confirm or deny my thinking I would greatly appreciate being told.
If I am right, I think the much higher SLG% number may be and indicator that Barry Bonds' home run splits may not have been much of a power indicator but if his double and triple increases were significant we may be able to see the aid that steroids give.
I will look into that before I look at Mark McGuire (spelling?) and Sammy Sosa. Hopefully tomorrow.
And I believe that I also learned that Slugging % is a bigger indicator of what a player is doing than I previously thought. I did not value Slugging % because I knew it involved calculating total bases and I placed no real value on that part of the equation. Now I think I was wrong. Oh, well me being wrong is pretty much a daily thing.
But before I get to the slugging numbers I want to make one point I forgot to make yesterday about Barry Bonds home run numbers. After I figured out the home run split between 86-97 and 98-07 I averaged the homers between the splits. From 86-97 he averaged 31 per year and from 98-07 he averaged 38 per season but the second split does not really matter for my purposes.
What does matter is I took the 31 per season between 86-07; then added the home runs he might have hit if he had stayed at the 31 per season level (372) and the 374 he hit between 86-91 for a possible career total of 746. Either way Barry Bonds is the home run king and Major League Baseball should remove the asterisk from his statistics. And I think on homers alone Barry Bonds is a first ballot HOF'er.
NOTE: Writer's block is a terrible thing. I have been trying to finish this the last few days but it seems like everything I have written has been gibberish. Yes, you can add the joke here.
Since I have written this in the sequence I did the research I will look at Bonds' On Base % (OBP). I find it some what amazing that I failed miserably in algebra but when I saw the formula for finding a player's on base % it looked like algebra and I understood it. Maybe if I would have found a way to use baseball to learn algebra I might have actually passed the class. Oh well, it's only 20+ years to late for that.
Anyway, I have thought for years that other than batting average a player's OBP was the best way to judge how good they were. I may have slightly altered my thinking on that but I will get to that later.
In the time between seasons 86-97 Bonds OBP was .408%. From 98-07 his OBP was .496%. I calculated the difference to be .088% and to me that is a somewhat major difference. I would have expected both the HR numbers and OBP to be significantly higher if the "experts" were right about how steroids greatly help a players abilities.
Even though I still think the increase in home runs can still be attributed to Bonds becoming a better hitter; the OBP numbers are more significant to me and has me questioning my thinking a little.
And then I got to the Slugging % (SLG% ) and was astonished at what I found out. From 86-97 Barry Bonds SLG% was .551%. From 98-07 Bonds' SLG% was .670%. That is a percentage point difference of .119 and that is a major difference to me.
My understanding of what a SLG % means is not the just the average a player hits a but in includes the amount of total bases and my understanding is a bit hazy on this but I believe its and indicator of power. I have always figured it to mean that with a greater number of doubles and triples a players SLG% increases. If anyone who reads this can confirm or deny my thinking I would greatly appreciate being told.
If I am right, I think the much higher SLG% number may be and indicator that Barry Bonds' home run splits may not have been much of a power indicator but if his double and triple increases were significant we may be able to see the aid that steroids give.
I will look into that before I look at Mark McGuire (spelling?) and Sammy Sosa. Hopefully tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Steroid era possible HOF'S PT 1: defending Barry Bonds
While doing research for this post today I rediscovered the joy of dealing with statistics and I remembered that I used to enjoy dealing with stats.
In high school I was the stat keeper for the hockey team and I seem to recall doing stats for something else. I also used to keep my own statistics for Major League baseball just for the enjoyment of it.
As I was enjoying going through Barry Bonds statistics I realized a couple of things: dealing with and calculation stats is very time consuming and I need something to keep my mind occupied. The other thing I realized and decided was to turn this into a small series of post to examine some of the other possible steroid era Hall Of Famers.
Because starting to gather the stats was so time consuming I have decided I will do two postings on Barry Bonds. Mainly because I feel I am only half done evaluating the stats I want to.
With all that being said; I want to make it clear: I am not a Barry Bonds fan. My not being a fan of his goes beyond the fact that I am a diehard LA Dodger fan and the Giants have always been the Dodgers biggest rivals. In actuality, I don't like Barry because I have not heard too many good things about him and from the interviews I have seen of him he seems like a very self involved jerk. I think he was TO before TO was TO.
I do honestly believe Barry Bonds is the best all around baseball player I have ever seen. A big part of why I am doing this is because I really don't believe steroids is as big as a factor in a players statistics as the sports media seems to think.
I believe that most baseball "experts" think the steroid era started around 1998. I'm sure there are many different arguments for when the steroid era was but since this is my opinion I say 1998 was the start of it.
Since I decided the start of the steroid era was 1998 I decided to divide Bonds statistics between his rookie season in 1989 until 1997 and from 1998 until his last season in 2007. My two sources for the statistics are baseball-reference.com and MLB.com.
For the record I did not find a way to split the numbers through the websites (and believe me I tried real hard but I'm not as computer savvy as I would like) so I calculated hits and at bats myself so if there are errors the fault is all mine.
From 1986 until 1997 Bonds had 1750 hits and 6069 at bats for a batting average of .288. From 1998 Bonds had 1185 hits and 3778 at bats for a batting average of .313. I calculated the percentage difference of the two averages to be .025.
From looking at those numbers I come to the conclusion that the difference is not big enough to really make it real attributable to steroids. Couldn't it be that he got smarter and better as a hitter?
Next, I examined his home run numbers. I personally am a bit surprised by what I found there. From 1986 to 1997 Bonds hit 374 homers at an average around 31 per year. From 1998 until his last season in '07 Bonds hit 388 homers for and average around 39 per year. If I did it right I calculated the difference to be around 1.26 homers per year difference.
I was surprised because I expected the difference to be larger.
I will think about that and look at his On Base Percentage and Slugging before I come to a conclusive conclusion.
But that is all for right now. I think I tired myself out and that is good.
;
In high school I was the stat keeper for the hockey team and I seem to recall doing stats for something else. I also used to keep my own statistics for Major League baseball just for the enjoyment of it.
As I was enjoying going through Barry Bonds statistics I realized a couple of things: dealing with and calculation stats is very time consuming and I need something to keep my mind occupied. The other thing I realized and decided was to turn this into a small series of post to examine some of the other possible steroid era Hall Of Famers.
Because starting to gather the stats was so time consuming I have decided I will do two postings on Barry Bonds. Mainly because I feel I am only half done evaluating the stats I want to.
With all that being said; I want to make it clear: I am not a Barry Bonds fan. My not being a fan of his goes beyond the fact that I am a diehard LA Dodger fan and the Giants have always been the Dodgers biggest rivals. In actuality, I don't like Barry because I have not heard too many good things about him and from the interviews I have seen of him he seems like a very self involved jerk. I think he was TO before TO was TO.
I do honestly believe Barry Bonds is the best all around baseball player I have ever seen. A big part of why I am doing this is because I really don't believe steroids is as big as a factor in a players statistics as the sports media seems to think.
I believe that most baseball "experts" think the steroid era started around 1998. I'm sure there are many different arguments for when the steroid era was but since this is my opinion I say 1998 was the start of it.
Since I decided the start of the steroid era was 1998 I decided to divide Bonds statistics between his rookie season in 1989 until 1997 and from 1998 until his last season in 2007. My two sources for the statistics are baseball-reference.com and MLB.com.
For the record I did not find a way to split the numbers through the websites (and believe me I tried real hard but I'm not as computer savvy as I would like) so I calculated hits and at bats myself so if there are errors the fault is all mine.
From 1986 until 1997 Bonds had 1750 hits and 6069 at bats for a batting average of .288. From 1998 Bonds had 1185 hits and 3778 at bats for a batting average of .313. I calculated the percentage difference of the two averages to be .025.
From looking at those numbers I come to the conclusion that the difference is not big enough to really make it real attributable to steroids. Couldn't it be that he got smarter and better as a hitter?
Next, I examined his home run numbers. I personally am a bit surprised by what I found there. From 1986 to 1997 Bonds hit 374 homers at an average around 31 per year. From 1998 until his last season in '07 Bonds hit 388 homers for and average around 39 per year. If I did it right I calculated the difference to be around 1.26 homers per year difference.
I was surprised because I expected the difference to be larger.
I will think about that and look at his On Base Percentage and Slugging before I come to a conclusive conclusion.
But that is all for right now. I think I tired myself out and that is good.
;
Monday, February 20, 2012
Steroids and the Baseball Hall of Fame voting
If I ever see or hear a member of the baseball writers/commentators say "I will never vote for a player who used steroids to get into the Hall of Fame" my head may explode.
First of all, it greatly bothers me that when the sports media talks about steroids and baseball they rarely talk about how steroids are a huge health concern. In my opinion, that should be the real main focus when talking about the effect that steroids had on the game. But the reality is that the sports media is obsessed with how steroids affect a players statistics and whether is should prevent players from being voted into the HOF.
Throughout the history of baseball drugs and alcohol have been problems in baseball as it has been in the USA in general. In fact is is said that in the 70's and 80's most players were using amphetamines. It has always seemed to me a bit odd that the media doesn't even begin to consider those who may have used and may not belong in the HOF.
I know many will say that doing amphetamines and cocaine are not the same thing as using steroids. But until someone proves to me that steroids help to improve a player's hand-eye coordination I will always question how much steroids actually help a player hit home runs. Until that is done I see no difference between illegal recreational drugs and steroids.
My understanding is that the main reason players use steroids is to help speed up their recovery time and help with their endurance. If that is the case then I don't get the argument that steroid use should affect how a player's career is judged.
However, if I am wrong (that's always a great possibility) then I believe the "experts" seem to forget a couple of things.
1.) To the best of my knowledge only four players have been openly revealed as having used steroids/HGH/illegal substances: Rafeal Palmeiro, J J Putz, Manny Ramirez (female hormones still cracks me up) and a minor leaguer whose name I can't recall. If someone knows of someone else please let me know. If you don't for sure know a player used how can you use that against them when judging their career?
2.) During most of the so-called "steroid era" steroid use was legal in Major League Baseball. The writer's want to punish players for doing what essentially within the rules at the time? Sorry but that just doesn't make sense to me at all.
3.) I have heard estimates that between 50-80% of the players used at the time before steroids and HGH were banned. Doesn't that mean the competition level was fairly even? So if a player is later found to have used steroids during that time that he played how can you hold that against him?
Honestly, I think some in the sports media want to keep some players out of the HOF because the press didn't learn of the steroids sooner and want to punish the players the only way they can.
The next post I write (hopefully tomorrow) I will be doing something I never thought I would do: defend Barry Bonds.
First of all, it greatly bothers me that when the sports media talks about steroids and baseball they rarely talk about how steroids are a huge health concern. In my opinion, that should be the real main focus when talking about the effect that steroids had on the game. But the reality is that the sports media is obsessed with how steroids affect a players statistics and whether is should prevent players from being voted into the HOF.
Throughout the history of baseball drugs and alcohol have been problems in baseball as it has been in the USA in general. In fact is is said that in the 70's and 80's most players were using amphetamines. It has always seemed to me a bit odd that the media doesn't even begin to consider those who may have used and may not belong in the HOF.
I know many will say that doing amphetamines and cocaine are not the same thing as using steroids. But until someone proves to me that steroids help to improve a player's hand-eye coordination I will always question how much steroids actually help a player hit home runs. Until that is done I see no difference between illegal recreational drugs and steroids.
My understanding is that the main reason players use steroids is to help speed up their recovery time and help with their endurance. If that is the case then I don't get the argument that steroid use should affect how a player's career is judged.
However, if I am wrong (that's always a great possibility) then I believe the "experts" seem to forget a couple of things.
1.) To the best of my knowledge only four players have been openly revealed as having used steroids/HGH/illegal substances: Rafeal Palmeiro, J J Putz, Manny Ramirez (female hormones still cracks me up) and a minor leaguer whose name I can't recall. If someone knows of someone else please let me know. If you don't for sure know a player used how can you use that against them when judging their career?
2.) During most of the so-called "steroid era" steroid use was legal in Major League Baseball. The writer's want to punish players for doing what essentially within the rules at the time? Sorry but that just doesn't make sense to me at all.
3.) I have heard estimates that between 50-80% of the players used at the time before steroids and HGH were banned. Doesn't that mean the competition level was fairly even? So if a player is later found to have used steroids during that time that he played how can you hold that against him?
Honestly, I think some in the sports media want to keep some players out of the HOF because the press didn't learn of the steroids sooner and want to punish the players the only way they can.
The next post I write (hopefully tomorrow) I will be doing something I never thought I would do: defend Barry Bonds.
Monday, February 13, 2012
The media and Josh Hamilton
For those who may not know who Josh Hamilton is; he is an outfielder for the Texas Rangers. In my opinion he is the second best player in Major League Baseball right now. And he is the only public person that I know of who admits that he is an addict who is in recovery.
Unfortunately, he had a bit of a relapse two weekends ago.From all accounts he only had a few beers; which is fine for most people, but for a person in recovery it is a very bad thing.
Being a recovering alcoholic/drug abuser is difficult for everyday average people. I imagine it is 100x's more difficult when you are in the public.
Personally, I think very few people who are not in recovery can understand for those who are recovering.
From what I have seen there are actually people who can have one alcoholic beverage and that is all they need; for me and others like me that makes no sense.
Since Mr Hamilton is in the public spotlight and in recovery his actions are viewed by many who do not understand what he is actually going through. And from what I have read in the last week or so many writer's have judged him way more harshly than they should have.
http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/33714192/34755087
The link is too what I believe is the most egregious of the articles/blogs I have read.
Apparently, Josh Hamilton contract is ending after this season and Mr Jon Heyman believes Josh Hamiliton owes the Rangers for keeping him employed while he is in recovery.
Basically, the point I got from the article is that because Hamilton is an addit ; had a slip and the Rangers have helped he along the way to deal with his addiction Mr Heyman believes he owes the Rangers.
I might have understood this reasoning in Josh Hamilton's early career when he was still in the Tampa Bay (then Devil) Rays minor league system; when Josh was still actively using cocaine, heroin, pills and drinking. Mr Hamilton finally seemed to have his bottom, got into treatment and had been clean for a number of years before he relapsed.
He turned himself into an exceptional player, got married, had kids and claimed to be a Christian. I have long since become a Josh Hamilton admirer and a few beers will not change that.
What Josh did was wrong for him if he truly is an addict and really wants to remain in recovery. What he did was very hurtful to his family and close friends.
From what I have read and seen about the situation Mr. Hamilton did nothing illegal. From what I have heard; he publicly apologized for his actions and to me he truly seemed regretful.
But to suggest that Josh Hamilton owes the Rangers because he he is an addict and they have helped him deal with his recovery is just irresponsible and overly judgmental.
What's next Jon Heyman if you find out that an athlete is gay will you demand he owes the team he plays for?
Unfortunately, he had a bit of a relapse two weekends ago.From all accounts he only had a few beers; which is fine for most people, but for a person in recovery it is a very bad thing.
Being a recovering alcoholic/drug abuser is difficult for everyday average people. I imagine it is 100x's more difficult when you are in the public.
Personally, I think very few people who are not in recovery can understand for those who are recovering.
From what I have seen there are actually people who can have one alcoholic beverage and that is all they need; for me and others like me that makes no sense.
Since Mr Hamilton is in the public spotlight and in recovery his actions are viewed by many who do not understand what he is actually going through. And from what I have read in the last week or so many writer's have judged him way more harshly than they should have.
http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/33714192/34755087
The link is too what I believe is the most egregious of the articles/blogs I have read.
Apparently, Josh Hamilton contract is ending after this season and Mr Jon Heyman believes Josh Hamiliton owes the Rangers for keeping him employed while he is in recovery.
Basically, the point I got from the article is that because Hamilton is an addit ; had a slip and the Rangers have helped he along the way to deal with his addiction Mr Heyman believes he owes the Rangers.
I might have understood this reasoning in Josh Hamilton's early career when he was still in the Tampa Bay (then Devil) Rays minor league system; when Josh was still actively using cocaine, heroin, pills and drinking. Mr Hamilton finally seemed to have his bottom, got into treatment and had been clean for a number of years before he relapsed.
He turned himself into an exceptional player, got married, had kids and claimed to be a Christian. I have long since become a Josh Hamilton admirer and a few beers will not change that.
What Josh did was wrong for him if he truly is an addict and really wants to remain in recovery. What he did was very hurtful to his family and close friends.
From what I have read and seen about the situation Mr. Hamilton did nothing illegal. From what I have heard; he publicly apologized for his actions and to me he truly seemed regretful.
But to suggest that Josh Hamilton owes the Rangers because he he is an addict and they have helped him deal with his recovery is just irresponsible and overly judgmental.
What's next Jon Heyman if you find out that an athlete is gay will you demand he owes the team he plays for?
Monday, February 6, 2012
Superbowl afterthoughts
I wouldn't put this Superbowl in the top 5 of the ones that I have seen. Maybe top 10 but I would like to think about that a little more.
I have heard the "experts" talk about the game today and most have good points, I would like to give my input.
I think the Patriots might have lost the game on their first possession. I just looked up the game log and I thought there was another penalty other than Tom Brady's penalty for intentional grounding in the end zone.
I know for sure that at the end of the first quarter I was thinking the Pats were giving the game to the Giants.
I heard Tony Kornheiser say he thought that Bill Belichick should not have challenged the ruling of a catch for the Giants Mario Manningham; but as I said to my TV (yes, I talk to myself and my TV sometimes, hey I rarely have someone to talk to) Belichick had no choice but to challenge that. I understand he only had two time out but since the catch happened right in front of him he MUST have thought it was not a catch, so what else could he do.
I said in my previous Superbowl post that I thought Tom Brady was on the downside of his career and I believe that even more now. He looked slower and more indecisive to me than I ever remember. And the throw to Wes Welcker was horrible.
I don't like dynasties and I never have; I think the Patriots one is over.
Finally, while Eli Manning had a great game; I would have given the MVP to Mario Manningham. To me that play was the play of the game and a momentum stopper.
A couple more weeks until pitchers and catchers report to spring training. I am sooo ready for that.
I have heard the "experts" talk about the game today and most have good points, I would like to give my input.
I think the Patriots might have lost the game on their first possession. I just looked up the game log and I thought there was another penalty other than Tom Brady's penalty for intentional grounding in the end zone.
I know for sure that at the end of the first quarter I was thinking the Pats were giving the game to the Giants.
I heard Tony Kornheiser say he thought that Bill Belichick should not have challenged the ruling of a catch for the Giants Mario Manningham; but as I said to my TV (yes, I talk to myself and my TV sometimes, hey I rarely have someone to talk to) Belichick had no choice but to challenge that. I understand he only had two time out but since the catch happened right in front of him he MUST have thought it was not a catch, so what else could he do.
I said in my previous Superbowl post that I thought Tom Brady was on the downside of his career and I believe that even more now. He looked slower and more indecisive to me than I ever remember. And the throw to Wes Welcker was horrible.
I don't like dynasties and I never have; I think the Patriots one is over.
Finally, while Eli Manning had a great game; I would have given the MVP to Mario Manningham. To me that play was the play of the game and a momentum stopper.
A couple more weeks until pitchers and catchers report to spring training. I am sooo ready for that.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Superbowl and prediction
I have got to say that I am shocked that I have not heard anyone complain about Peyton Manning making himself be the main news this week. I think if I were younger brother Eli I would a little po'ed at Peyton.
This week should have been more about Eli's Giants and the Golden Boy and his Patriots. Instead we have been getting the soap opera that is Mr Manning and Cotls owner Jim Irsay.
Personally I have lost some respect for Peyton this week; I think he could have allowed the spotlight to shine on the game rather than him. Some might say this was not done on purpose. I really believe this was done on purpose and that we are seeing the true arrogance of Mr Manning. And to me it's not entertaining at all.
And while I don't like Mr Irsay's constant tweeting like he's a jilted lover; I do think it is time for the Colts and Manning to part ways. Whether the Dr's really will clear him to play again I don't know but I firmly believe that Manning will never be as good as he once was. I also believe that he is not worth $28 million at this point in time.
Now on to the actual Superbowl. I am hoping that Eli has a great game and wins another Superbowl. I am not a big fan of his because he is too inconsistent. I think a bigger part of the reason the Giants have gotten this far is because of WR Victor Cruz on offense and the Giants Defensive line. The Giants only gave up more than 30 points in three games and I believe by keeping the games relatively close is what helped the Giants get to where they are. I do believe that defense wins championships.
From the games I saw the Patriots play (I believe it was 3 or 4) Tom Brady is not what he used to be. I believe he is on the downside of his career and I predict this will be his last Superbowl and I believe he will have 2-3 more seasons and then retire.
Mr Brady is why I am a Tim Tebow believer. I saw Brady play in college a lot and I thought he was going to be a bust; obviously I was wrong. Tebow was a lot better than Brady was in college and so I have hope.
The Patriots defense is awful and I never thought they were the best team in the AFC. I am honestly surprised they made it this far.
But I do have to say I think this will be one of the better Superbowls and I am actually looking forward to it. I believe that because of the Giants defense they will win the Superbowl and the final score will be 31-28.
I can't wait for Sunday.
This week should have been more about Eli's Giants and the Golden Boy and his Patriots. Instead we have been getting the soap opera that is Mr Manning and Cotls owner Jim Irsay.
Personally I have lost some respect for Peyton this week; I think he could have allowed the spotlight to shine on the game rather than him. Some might say this was not done on purpose. I really believe this was done on purpose and that we are seeing the true arrogance of Mr Manning. And to me it's not entertaining at all.
And while I don't like Mr Irsay's constant tweeting like he's a jilted lover; I do think it is time for the Colts and Manning to part ways. Whether the Dr's really will clear him to play again I don't know but I firmly believe that Manning will never be as good as he once was. I also believe that he is not worth $28 million at this point in time.
Now on to the actual Superbowl. I am hoping that Eli has a great game and wins another Superbowl. I am not a big fan of his because he is too inconsistent. I think a bigger part of the reason the Giants have gotten this far is because of WR Victor Cruz on offense and the Giants Defensive line. The Giants only gave up more than 30 points in three games and I believe by keeping the games relatively close is what helped the Giants get to where they are. I do believe that defense wins championships.
From the games I saw the Patriots play (I believe it was 3 or 4) Tom Brady is not what he used to be. I believe he is on the downside of his career and I predict this will be his last Superbowl and I believe he will have 2-3 more seasons and then retire.
Mr Brady is why I am a Tim Tebow believer. I saw Brady play in college a lot and I thought he was going to be a bust; obviously I was wrong. Tebow was a lot better than Brady was in college and so I have hope.
The Patriots defense is awful and I never thought they were the best team in the AFC. I am honestly surprised they made it this far.
But I do have to say I think this will be one of the better Superbowls and I am actually looking forward to it. I believe that because of the Giants defense they will win the Superbowl and the final score will be 31-28.
I can't wait for Sunday.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Circle of Life?
Before I begin I want to write a disclaimer that the following is not being written to suggest that anyone is doing anything wrong.
But I'm wondering if the human race or just American culture has gotten off the track.
My best friend, may be the busiest person I have ever known. She has a husband, three kids, her own counseling practice, manages realty properties and church activities. Frankly, I don't know how she does it.
When she started counseling she had told me that if I ever had things to do that if I asked ahead of time I could come talk to her when needed. For awhile there I went to her office once a month. Well, apparently her practice has grown so much that she tells me no more often than not. Bothers me but she has to do what best for her.
Earlier this week I had asked for some time and she said no. I texted her (that's the main way we communicate now) that I was disappointed and her responding text was, "I wish I had time for ANYONE OR ANYTHING that isn't must do or a requirement."
Ever since reading that text Harry Chapin's song 'Cats in the Cradle' has been running through my mind.
And I have been thinking of my own experience growing up. I guess my brother, sister and I were lucky growing up. My Mom had a regular 9 to 5 job and my Dad was home most nights around 7-8. We pretty much saw our parents every day. I have heard that many people don't. I didn't appreciate what I had back then.
And this lead me to wondering if people being too busy for family and friends is the way God intended it to be.
From what I have seen and heard my parent's were a little bit younger than most who start having kids. It seems to me most have kids in their late 20's early 30's. And it seems to me that is when most people really into their careers.
It also seems to me that between the ages of 2-15 are when children need their parent need their parent's the most.
All of that seems to be a contradiction.
Which makes me wonder if that's the way things were intended to be. Somehow I doubt it.
But I'm wondering if the human race or just American culture has gotten off the track.
My best friend, may be the busiest person I have ever known. She has a husband, three kids, her own counseling practice, manages realty properties and church activities. Frankly, I don't know how she does it.
When she started counseling she had told me that if I ever had things to do that if I asked ahead of time I could come talk to her when needed. For awhile there I went to her office once a month. Well, apparently her practice has grown so much that she tells me no more often than not. Bothers me but she has to do what best for her.
Earlier this week I had asked for some time and she said no. I texted her (that's the main way we communicate now) that I was disappointed and her responding text was, "I wish I had time for ANYONE OR ANYTHING that isn't must do or a requirement."
Ever since reading that text Harry Chapin's song 'Cats in the Cradle' has been running through my mind.
And I have been thinking of my own experience growing up. I guess my brother, sister and I were lucky growing up. My Mom had a regular 9 to 5 job and my Dad was home most nights around 7-8. We pretty much saw our parents every day. I have heard that many people don't. I didn't appreciate what I had back then.
And this lead me to wondering if people being too busy for family and friends is the way God intended it to be.
From what I have seen and heard my parent's were a little bit younger than most who start having kids. It seems to me most have kids in their late 20's early 30's. And it seems to me that is when most people really into their careers.
It also seems to me that between the ages of 2-15 are when children need their parent need their parent's the most.
All of that seems to be a contradiction.
Which makes me wonder if that's the way things were intended to be. Somehow I doubt it.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Probowl; sports thoughts
For the first time that I can think of I actually watched the NHL's All Star game this past Sunday. And I liked it because, for the most part the actually played liked they actually wanted to win the game. And it seemed to me to be a cleaner, more swift moving game than how games are played during the regular season.
I can't remember the last time I actually watched the NFL's Probowl and don't recall the last time I enjoyed watching the Probowl. I have heard some say they don't like any all star games because they are just exhibitions. I have never understood that thinking and I probably never will. If it's a sport I enjoy and a game is on I am most likely watching it.
But if players aren't even going to give an effort than the game shouldn't be played. In other words I think the Probowl should just go away. I understand not wanting to tackle hard or not wanting to get hurt but the highlights I saw of the Probowl were pathetic. I think it's time for the NFL to cancel the game.
Speaking of things the NFL should do away with; the idea of playing the Superbowl is just dumb, dumb, dumb. They tried a European football league, it failed. From what I saw of the regular season games the NFL has tried there it looks like attendance was terrible.
I get the idea of wanting new revenue streams, that makes sense. But trying to force yourself on a market that doesn't want you does not make sense. I don't understand why FOX and ESPN trying to force soccer down our throats and the NFL is trying the same thing on Europe.
NFL football is our game and the rest of the world can have the other football. Although I would like to see more of Australian rules footie (as they say) here. I think it's good that they have their games and we have ours.
Two weeks until pitchers and catchers report to spring training. Thank you God. I have been ready for it to be back for a couple of months now. Part of the reason I don't like winter, (and I can't even being to explain how much I don't like winter) is because of no baseball to follow on a daily basis.
I am starting my research for my predictions this season so that I can do them the way I had planned last year. Hopefully I'll be more accurate than 40% than last year.
Now if I could only remember...if the groundhog sees it's shadow it's gonna be a shorter winter or is it the other way around? 46 years old and I still can't remember...
I can't remember the last time I actually watched the NFL's Probowl and don't recall the last time I enjoyed watching the Probowl. I have heard some say they don't like any all star games because they are just exhibitions. I have never understood that thinking and I probably never will. If it's a sport I enjoy and a game is on I am most likely watching it.
But if players aren't even going to give an effort than the game shouldn't be played. In other words I think the Probowl should just go away. I understand not wanting to tackle hard or not wanting to get hurt but the highlights I saw of the Probowl were pathetic. I think it's time for the NFL to cancel the game.
Speaking of things the NFL should do away with; the idea of playing the Superbowl is just dumb, dumb, dumb. They tried a European football league, it failed. From what I saw of the regular season games the NFL has tried there it looks like attendance was terrible.
I get the idea of wanting new revenue streams, that makes sense. But trying to force yourself on a market that doesn't want you does not make sense. I don't understand why FOX and ESPN trying to force soccer down our throats and the NFL is trying the same thing on Europe.
NFL football is our game and the rest of the world can have the other football. Although I would like to see more of Australian rules footie (as they say) here. I think it's good that they have their games and we have ours.
Two weeks until pitchers and catchers report to spring training. Thank you God. I have been ready for it to be back for a couple of months now. Part of the reason I don't like winter, (and I can't even being to explain how much I don't like winter) is because of no baseball to follow on a daily basis.
I am starting my research for my predictions this season so that I can do them the way I had planned last year. Hopefully I'll be more accurate than 40% than last year.
Now if I could only remember...if the groundhog sees it's shadow it's gonna be a shorter winter or is it the other way around? 46 years old and I still can't remember...
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
America, this is your President.
Last night I saw this picture posted on Facebook,
My first thought was "Isn't being President 101 to know to put your hand over your heart for the national anthem?"
Unfortunately, I know that the pc/liberal crowd will make excuses for this lack of national respect. But for me this if further proof that this President is a disgrace to this country.
But his lack of respect shouldn't surprise me. After all, his agenda and actions show he wants to turn us into a European/liberal/pc/kumbya nation.
As I have told my sister; liberals hearts seem to be in the right place; but the lack of reality is a bit disturbing.
I can see that in a Utopian society that health care for everyone would work. In a Utopian society everybody being economically, socially, and morally the same might work.
But here in the real world trying to get to that place will destroy us. See here in the real world there economics too think of. Health care for everyone is just not feasible. Here in the real world there will always be the haves and have nots; rich people and poor people.
Part of the greatness of this nation is that is allows opportunities for the have nots to become haves and for the haves to muck up their lives.
But those opportunities mainly come from the rich creating the jobs and opportunities for things to happen.
Taxing the heck out of the rich will not help economic growth and it will greatly hamper job growth.
Liberals/pcers don't seem to want to understand that we all are different and that is OK. They don't want anyone to offend anyone else. They want everyone to like everyone else and if you don't like someone or a situation then you're in the wrong.
I don't think they understand that there will always people who are sexist, racist and religiously close minded. No amount of pc attempts to force people to change their thinking will stop that.
And all of that is what I believe the President aims to do, And if we allow him four more years we will see America fall more than it already has.
And for the record I know that some of what I write will bother some people, I may even anger some. But what I write is my truth and what I believe, And if you don't like it that's OK because for now it's still a free country.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
ESPN, media helped kill Joe Paterno
Now, to be totally clear, I am not going to claim that the media had anything to do with the cancer.
But when you're an older gentleman who has had physical problems the last few years; add in cancer and a seemingly overwhelming amount of negative press leads to a recipe for disaster.
And in my opinion, a lot of unnecessary negative press was aimed right at Joe Paterno. It seemed to me that in the first few weeks after the Jerry Sandusky broke the media blamed Mr Paterno almost as much as Sandusky.
And I don't get the why? Mr Paterno did tell his superiors what he was told. Should he have done more? Maybe. But I really believe Mr Paterno did what he thought was morally and ethically right.
So I believe that basically the media is bashing him and diminishing the good he did; not because he did the wrong thing but because he didn't do enough of the right thing. And that is wrong and I wish the media could be held accountable for those actions. But as far as I know there is no way to do that.
But now back to the real point.
In the first few weeks after the story broke is became increasing more difficult to watch the coverage as a person who was molested myself. The media's insane "need to know" brought back old memories and I am positive I am not the only one.
Now, as a person who was born in Michigan and raised in Ohio, I had no particular liking of Mr Paterno. I never actively disliked but as the head coach of Penn State I didn't have a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings for him either.
But since I have been on the wrong end of being molested (come to think of it, there's no right end on that) I can and do have sympathy for a man who I believe was essentially a good person dealing with a lot of negative thoughts and emotions for his role. And add on the other stress he was dealing with; I really feel bad for Mr Paterno.
I think that at the end of his life there was a perfect storm of bad things happening and his body and soul could take no more.
And it didn't have to be that way.
The media should have had (and continue to) have more respect for Sandusky's victims, for those who have been molested by other sick individual, the law and Mr Paterno.
In my opinion the court of law has the only real right for the need to know; not the media and not the court of public opinion.
The media's insatiable "need to know" has become a national problem.
But when you're an older gentleman who has had physical problems the last few years; add in cancer and a seemingly overwhelming amount of negative press leads to a recipe for disaster.
And in my opinion, a lot of unnecessary negative press was aimed right at Joe Paterno. It seemed to me that in the first few weeks after the Jerry Sandusky broke the media blamed Mr Paterno almost as much as Sandusky.
And I don't get the why? Mr Paterno did tell his superiors what he was told. Should he have done more? Maybe. But I really believe Mr Paterno did what he thought was morally and ethically right.
So I believe that basically the media is bashing him and diminishing the good he did; not because he did the wrong thing but because he didn't do enough of the right thing. And that is wrong and I wish the media could be held accountable for those actions. But as far as I know there is no way to do that.
But now back to the real point.
In the first few weeks after the story broke is became increasing more difficult to watch the coverage as a person who was molested myself. The media's insane "need to know" brought back old memories and I am positive I am not the only one.
Now, as a person who was born in Michigan and raised in Ohio, I had no particular liking of Mr Paterno. I never actively disliked but as the head coach of Penn State I didn't have a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings for him either.
But since I have been on the wrong end of being molested (come to think of it, there's no right end on that) I can and do have sympathy for a man who I believe was essentially a good person dealing with a lot of negative thoughts and emotions for his role. And add on the other stress he was dealing with; I really feel bad for Mr Paterno.
I think that at the end of his life there was a perfect storm of bad things happening and his body and soul could take no more.
And it didn't have to be that way.
The media should have had (and continue to) have more respect for Sandusky's victims, for those who have been molested by other sick individual, the law and Mr Paterno.
In my opinion the court of law has the only real right for the need to know; not the media and not the court of public opinion.
The media's insatiable "need to know" has become a national problem.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Don't Cover Casey Anthony.
I don't know how it is around the country but here in central Florida and probably more specifically the Orlando viewing area we are getting weekly Casey Anthony reports.
I really wish it would stop. She has had her day in court; the justice system failed and now we should all move on. I don't see any positive reasoning for reporting that she may be staying in a church.
I don't know her and would go the other way if I ever saw her anywhere around me; but I get the feeling that she likes the attention. Why else would Youtube video of hers be made public.
Besides being a baby killer and out of touch with reality; I believe she is a narcissist. And any media coverage at all just feeds her sickness. Covering her does nothing for society; in fact I would say it harms society because it reminds us that a little girl lost her life and nothing was done about it.
Personally, I am starting to watch less and less of the news because I believe it only adds to a National Enquirer mentality and I think we have way too much of that already.
Truth be told the only reason I turn on the news at all anymore is to get the weather forecast and to look at the gorgeous anchor Martha Sugalski.
The one news story I did see tonight makes me think that the world truly is getting sicker.
Apparently in Orlando today a man showed up at a family home today pretending to be a Department of Children official. Something must not have felt right to the family and they called 911. He fled the scene and police are looking for him.
The sickos must be getting desperate to pull something like that.
It's a sick world people.
People with children; please be as vigilant as you can about protecting the young ones.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Pacman Jones: game over
I have an understanding about addiction through life experience. I have oh to much understanding about messing up your life, I got that through life experience too.
Now I don't know for a fact that Adam Jones is an addict. No one can or should say that about anyone until the individual is ready to admit that for themselves.
Because of that I try not to judge guys like Adam "Pacman" Jones too harshly. There was a time I would have been very ticked off at how a guy with so much talent could just basically throw his career today.
I have read the response threads on internet sites that ran the story of how Mr Jones pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in a Cincinnati bar. That incident happened last July when Mr Jones was still on probation for his 2007 "make it rain money" incident. And in between there was one other disorderly conduct in a bar incident that I know of.
I have read and seen several response to other players who have basically thrown there careers away over other incidents. Most of the responses seem to be, "How could a guy throw a career away playing sports away like that.
For a while I wondered the same thing. How could these guys with talent I would give anything to have do such stupid things and throw it all away.
For those who may not know it I am a sports nut. Sports, particularly baseball, is one of the few things I have ever been passionate about. Just about the hardest thing for me to do was watch my friends play little league baseball while all I could do is stand by and watch.
So yes, I would give anything to have the ability to do what these guys can do; if even I was given the ability on a small scale. So there was a time when I was truly appalled when athletes would do stupid things like Pacman has done.
But as I look back over my life I can see that I was given my own kind of chances to have a different life than what I have. After high school I was able to get into college. If I had done things differently I could have gotten a degree and probably a good career. But I chose to party and do bad things.
In the early 90's I was given an opportunity to turn things around. And for a few years I did, I got married and when back to school. But I wasn't really ready; I had wildness to get out of my system. And the things I did in the late 90"s were worse than what I experienced after high school.
But Adam Jones seems to only see nothing but himself and his enjoyment. I understand that because I have been there.
I understand being young and thinking you're Superman. And believe me even when your disabled you can think that nothing is going to change you and that you can party and do what you want with no consequences.
And I think Mr Jones is about to find out about the other side of things. I had a friend whose favorite saying was, "If you play, you pay." and that's one of the truest sayings I have heard.
Good luck to you Pacman. Because I think the game is over for you and real life is about to take over.
Now I don't know for a fact that Adam Jones is an addict. No one can or should say that about anyone until the individual is ready to admit that for themselves.
Because of that I try not to judge guys like Adam "Pacman" Jones too harshly. There was a time I would have been very ticked off at how a guy with so much talent could just basically throw his career today.
I have read the response threads on internet sites that ran the story of how Mr Jones pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in a Cincinnati bar. That incident happened last July when Mr Jones was still on probation for his 2007 "make it rain money" incident. And in between there was one other disorderly conduct in a bar incident that I know of.
I have read and seen several response to other players who have basically thrown there careers away over other incidents. Most of the responses seem to be, "How could a guy throw a career away playing sports away like that.
For a while I wondered the same thing. How could these guys with talent I would give anything to have do such stupid things and throw it all away.
For those who may not know it I am a sports nut. Sports, particularly baseball, is one of the few things I have ever been passionate about. Just about the hardest thing for me to do was watch my friends play little league baseball while all I could do is stand by and watch.
So yes, I would give anything to have the ability to do what these guys can do; if even I was given the ability on a small scale. So there was a time when I was truly appalled when athletes would do stupid things like Pacman has done.
But as I look back over my life I can see that I was given my own kind of chances to have a different life than what I have. After high school I was able to get into college. If I had done things differently I could have gotten a degree and probably a good career. But I chose to party and do bad things.
In the early 90's I was given an opportunity to turn things around. And for a few years I did, I got married and when back to school. But I wasn't really ready; I had wildness to get out of my system. And the things I did in the late 90"s were worse than what I experienced after high school.
But Adam Jones seems to only see nothing but himself and his enjoyment. I understand that because I have been there.
I understand being young and thinking you're Superman. And believe me even when your disabled you can think that nothing is going to change you and that you can party and do what you want with no consequences.
And I think Mr Jones is about to find out about the other side of things. I had a friend whose favorite saying was, "If you play, you pay." and that's one of the truest sayings I have heard.
Good luck to you Pacman. Because I think the game is over for you and real life is about to take over.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Dwight Howard: the latest LIAR
Am I the only one who is tired of players who in the last year of their contract early on proclaim they want to stay with their current team; only to shortly after demand a trade?
Down here in Florida it kind of feels like 1996 all over again. The only differences are that I was married, in Tampa and never liked Dwight Howard as much as I like Shaq.
I tried to find the exact time line on how things went down with Shaq but was unable to. So I will do this the best I can from memory. I believe it was sometime during the 1996 season Shaq was asked if he would like to stay in Orlando after he current contract was expired. I seem to recall him saying that he, "wanted to stay in Orlando for the rest of his career.
At the end of that season speculation began that Shaq would sign with the Los Angeles Lakers for a lot more money than the Magic could offer. I seem to remember Shaq still insist that he wanted to stay in Orlando and that he wasn't about the money.
Of course, he signed with the Lakers and it was a harsh reminder that all professional athletes are about the money. ALWAYS.
Immediately on hearing that he signed with the Lakers I threw out my Shaq hat and would cuss at hearing his name for a few of the following seasons. Now I'm back to loving the big guy; he is very entertaining.
Flash forward to last season. I remember hearing a few interviews with Dwight Howard where he also proclaimed that he wanted to play the rest of his career in Orlando. Dwight went a little further by saying he planned on living in Orlando after his career is over.
I wanted to believe him, but after being burned once before (Penny Hardaway didn't count) I wanted to believe Mr Howard but I didn't. But it bothers me that he has gone a little back and forth this season. He started out that he wanted to stay but has waffled back and forth a couple of times.
Maybe it's just me but I would admire these guys a little more if the would at least say, "if the money is right I'll stay but it looks doubtful.
I know saying that would hurt negotiations a little but does a few extra million less really hurt that much?
Down here in Florida it kind of feels like 1996 all over again. The only differences are that I was married, in Tampa and never liked Dwight Howard as much as I like Shaq.
I tried to find the exact time line on how things went down with Shaq but was unable to. So I will do this the best I can from memory. I believe it was sometime during the 1996 season Shaq was asked if he would like to stay in Orlando after he current contract was expired. I seem to recall him saying that he, "wanted to stay in Orlando for the rest of his career.
At the end of that season speculation began that Shaq would sign with the Los Angeles Lakers for a lot more money than the Magic could offer. I seem to remember Shaq still insist that he wanted to stay in Orlando and that he wasn't about the money.
Of course, he signed with the Lakers and it was a harsh reminder that all professional athletes are about the money. ALWAYS.
Immediately on hearing that he signed with the Lakers I threw out my Shaq hat and would cuss at hearing his name for a few of the following seasons. Now I'm back to loving the big guy; he is very entertaining.
Flash forward to last season. I remember hearing a few interviews with Dwight Howard where he also proclaimed that he wanted to play the rest of his career in Orlando. Dwight went a little further by saying he planned on living in Orlando after his career is over.
I wanted to believe him, but after being burned once before (Penny Hardaway didn't count) I wanted to believe Mr Howard but I didn't. But it bothers me that he has gone a little back and forth this season. He started out that he wanted to stay but has waffled back and forth a couple of times.
Maybe it's just me but I would admire these guys a little more if the would at least say, "if the money is right I'll stay but it looks doubtful.
I know saying that would hurt negotiations a little but does a few extra million less really hurt that much?
Monday, January 16, 2012
Thank you Tim Tebow
First of all Thank you for your time at UF. I enjoyed watching you there. I enjoyed how after losing a game in the 2009 (I think) season you gave your "I'll try my hardest" speech that helped the Gators to the national championship.
Thank you for overall being a positive story this season. I think you showed most people that despite having many numerous negative things said about you, you kept trying your hardest to improve.
I have been watching football since the early 70's and I can't ever remember a person who is so loved and so hated all at the same time.I believe that most of the people who really hate on you hate anything that is close to religion.
I have heard people say that Tim Tebow pushes his faith on others. I have never seen that. I have seen him acting in a faithful manner. Thanks to sideline camera's I have heard him say faithful things and sing faithful songs but I have never heard him say, "This is what I believe and you must believe what I believe." I seem to remember him saying at one point that he doesn't care what you believe, just that you believe.
Without Tim Tebow this season might have been one of the more boring seasons I can remember. We would have probably heard even more about Aaron Rodgers than we did; and that might have been a good thing.
Without Tim Tebow we might have seen more stories about why Terrell Owens couldn't get a job in the NFL this season. So I Thank him for that.
Without Tim Tebow we probably would have heard a lot more retirement speculation about Ray "The Criminal" Lewis and the wonders of him. Thank you Tim Tebow for that.
Without Tim Tebow I would have had to pay more attention to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers who haven't been this bad since they wore those awful orange sherbet jersey.
Without Tim Tebow I wouldn't have heard so much unnecessary speculation.
Without Tim Tebow I wouldn't have paid Stephen A Smith any attention to the stupid things he said about Tim Tebow.
Well, sorry, I can't thank you for everything Mr. Tebow but I can Thank you for a lot of things.
Let's do it again next season. Okay?
Thank you for overall being a positive story this season. I think you showed most people that despite having many numerous negative things said about you, you kept trying your hardest to improve.
I have been watching football since the early 70's and I can't ever remember a person who is so loved and so hated all at the same time.I believe that most of the people who really hate on you hate anything that is close to religion.
I have heard people say that Tim Tebow pushes his faith on others. I have never seen that. I have seen him acting in a faithful manner. Thanks to sideline camera's I have heard him say faithful things and sing faithful songs but I have never heard him say, "This is what I believe and you must believe what I believe." I seem to remember him saying at one point that he doesn't care what you believe, just that you believe.
Without Tim Tebow this season might have been one of the more boring seasons I can remember. We would have probably heard even more about Aaron Rodgers than we did; and that might have been a good thing.
Without Tim Tebow we might have seen more stories about why Terrell Owens couldn't get a job in the NFL this season. So I Thank him for that.
Without Tim Tebow we probably would have heard a lot more retirement speculation about Ray "The Criminal" Lewis and the wonders of him. Thank you Tim Tebow for that.
Without Tim Tebow I would have had to pay more attention to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers who haven't been this bad since they wore those awful orange sherbet jersey.
Without Tim Tebow I wouldn't have heard so much unnecessary speculation.
Without Tim Tebow I wouldn't have paid Stephen A Smith any attention to the stupid things he said about Tim Tebow.
Well, sorry, I can't thank you for everything Mr. Tebow but I can Thank you for a lot of things.
Let's do it again next season. Okay?
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Makes me think
For a long time now I have believed that there are no such things as coincidences, Things happen for a reason. I'm not saying that every thing in every moment of the day happens for a reason. But the life lessons we need to learn happen for a reason.
I had another example of the fact that there are no coincidences a in the last week or so.
My sister and I have been communicating through emails lately; in one of her emails she talked about my relationship with my Mom. And basically she said that despite the differences between my Mom and I; my sister believes that we as a family picked each other before we were born.
Then two days ago, my best friend who I truly do think of as a sister, texted me that,"I believe we knew each other in the spiritual preexsistence. That is why we are so connected" and that she thinks we are "spiritual siblings".
On some level that I try not to contemplate too much I agree with what both my sister's said. The odd thing is that one of them is into metaphyisical thinking the other of Mormon faith. I would think they wouldn't see things similarly but apparently they do.
I do believe that there is a spiritual connection between myself and my family and those who have been my close friends over the years.
And I do believe that both theses messages come around at around the same time for a reason. The obvious reason is that I needed a reminder that I am not alone. This is my least favorite time of year, every winter I go through a depressive period and I am in that right now. I feel more disconnected with people this time of year; I don't know why I am getting out pretty much as I do the rest of the year but I don't feel as though I'm with people.
So I needed the messages for that reason but I have a feeling there is more to learn from the messages I just have to open my eyes and mind to see it.
But the messages also made me wonder how really different are spiritual ways of thinking. Do all religions and spiritual thought all come to the same answers, are the words and thought processes the only real differences?
I don't have the answers. It just makes me think. And wonder.
I had another example of the fact that there are no coincidences a in the last week or so.
My sister and I have been communicating through emails lately; in one of her emails she talked about my relationship with my Mom. And basically she said that despite the differences between my Mom and I; my sister believes that we as a family picked each other before we were born.
Then two days ago, my best friend who I truly do think of as a sister, texted me that,"I believe we knew each other in the spiritual preexsistence. That is why we are so connected" and that she thinks we are "spiritual siblings".
On some level that I try not to contemplate too much I agree with what both my sister's said. The odd thing is that one of them is into metaphyisical thinking the other of Mormon faith. I would think they wouldn't see things similarly but apparently they do.
I do believe that there is a spiritual connection between myself and my family and those who have been my close friends over the years.
And I do believe that both theses messages come around at around the same time for a reason. The obvious reason is that I needed a reminder that I am not alone. This is my least favorite time of year, every winter I go through a depressive period and I am in that right now. I feel more disconnected with people this time of year; I don't know why I am getting out pretty much as I do the rest of the year but I don't feel as though I'm with people.
So I needed the messages for that reason but I have a feeling there is more to learn from the messages I just have to open my eyes and mind to see it.
But the messages also made me wonder how really different are spiritual ways of thinking. Do all religions and spiritual thought all come to the same answers, are the words and thought processes the only real differences?
I don't have the answers. It just makes me think. And wonder.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Not so dumb now?
When I first turned my TV on today (ESPN of course) Mike &Mike in the Morning were discussing a four team NCAA playoffs using the BcS bowl games as part of that system.
I wrote two blogs on that very subject twice in the last year. I wish I could say they got that idea from me but with, on average, 5 people who actually read what I write I highly doubt that. But it helped to show me that every once in a while I actually have thoughts that people agree with.
But it also led to the thought that I wish I was a good enough writer to get a job. Other than what I believe is a pretty good knowledge of sports the only "talent" I possess is the ability to write. But I don't think I'm that good.
It's definitely on of the reasons I wish I had taken high school a lot more seriously. I had opportunities to learn how to be a better writer and maybe I could have had a career.
But stuff and life happens.
Sorry for the bit of rambling but stuff needed to come out.
I originally wanted to write about the fact that most people seem to think last nights "championship game" was terrible is further proof that the BcS needs to be changed/scrapped.
I am very happy I didn't watch it. 21-0 with no touchdowns? That must have been horrible to watch.
Apparently after the game Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy talked about his team would have made the game must more entertaining. For reasons I don't understand people are verbally beating him up for saying that. What he said was probably true.
But apparently people don't want to hear truth anymore.
I just really hope that the TV rating were really bad. Maybe that will knock some common sense into the heads of the people who run the BcS. But I doubt it.
I wrote two blogs on that very subject twice in the last year. I wish I could say they got that idea from me but with, on average, 5 people who actually read what I write I highly doubt that. But it helped to show me that every once in a while I actually have thoughts that people agree with.
But it also led to the thought that I wish I was a good enough writer to get a job. Other than what I believe is a pretty good knowledge of sports the only "talent" I possess is the ability to write. But I don't think I'm that good.
It's definitely on of the reasons I wish I had taken high school a lot more seriously. I had opportunities to learn how to be a better writer and maybe I could have had a career.
But stuff and life happens.
Sorry for the bit of rambling but stuff needed to come out.
I originally wanted to write about the fact that most people seem to think last nights "championship game" was terrible is further proof that the BcS needs to be changed/scrapped.
I am very happy I didn't watch it. 21-0 with no touchdowns? That must have been horrible to watch.
Apparently after the game Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy talked about his team would have made the game must more entertaining. For reasons I don't understand people are verbally beating him up for saying that. What he said was probably true.
But apparently people don't want to hear truth anymore.
I just really hope that the TV rating were really bad. Maybe that will knock some common sense into the heads of the people who run the BcS. But I doubt it.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Not a real national title game
In my opinion, the BcS has become more of a joke, And the BcS has lost credibility with each passing season. And I don't know how much lower it can sink after.his year.
For the title game we get two teams who already played once this season. And it was the absolute most boring game I have seen in years.
In all honesty, I will give credit to Louisiana State University; they deserve to be in this game. LSU did not lose a game this season, the only team to do that. LSU won their conference championship and have proven to be a national title contender.
Alabama does not deserve to be in this game; they lost to LSU once already. They did not win their conference.
There are two teams who should have had a chance to be in the National Championship game: Oregon and Oklahoma State.
Both Oregon and Oklahoma State won their conferences. I know Oregon can beat Alabama and I believe Oklahoma State can beat Alabama.
But because of a fraudulent BcS Oregon and Oklahoma State were not give the opportunity to play to be in the game.
In every other team sport that I know of there is a playoff at the end of the regular season to determine who is the best team for that season. Every other sport INCLUDING division I and division II in college football. The only decent argument I have heard of against a playoff is that it would interfere with the students class work which might be plausible except for the fact that division I and II football has playoffs.
So are division I and II students academics not as important as division I? I think it could be argued that academics for the lower divisions are more important for those athletes because a lot fewer of them will go on to play professional sports.
If you are going to declare a national champion it is legitimized through a playoff system. The BcS has no playoff and in my view is not legitimate. Therefore tonight's game is bogus and meaningless.
Until NCAA football has a playoff system in place I will not watch anymore of their BS bowl games.
Luckily for me it's almost nine and time for wrestling. At least they admit that their fake.
For the title game we get two teams who already played once this season. And it was the absolute most boring game I have seen in years.
In all honesty, I will give credit to Louisiana State University; they deserve to be in this game. LSU did not lose a game this season, the only team to do that. LSU won their conference championship and have proven to be a national title contender.
Alabama does not deserve to be in this game; they lost to LSU once already. They did not win their conference.
There are two teams who should have had a chance to be in the National Championship game: Oregon and Oklahoma State.
Both Oregon and Oklahoma State won their conferences. I know Oregon can beat Alabama and I believe Oklahoma State can beat Alabama.
But because of a fraudulent BcS Oregon and Oklahoma State were not give the opportunity to play to be in the game.
In every other team sport that I know of there is a playoff at the end of the regular season to determine who is the best team for that season. Every other sport INCLUDING division I and division II in college football. The only decent argument I have heard of against a playoff is that it would interfere with the students class work which might be plausible except for the fact that division I and II football has playoffs.
So are division I and II students academics not as important as division I? I think it could be argued that academics for the lower divisions are more important for those athletes because a lot fewer of them will go on to play professional sports.
If you are going to declare a national champion it is legitimized through a playoff system. The BcS has no playoff and in my view is not legitimate. Therefore tonight's game is bogus and meaningless.
Until NCAA football has a playoff system in place I will not watch anymore of their BS bowl games.
Luckily for me it's almost nine and time for wrestling. At least they admit that their fake.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Why do people?
There are always going to be things that people do that I just don't get. I just think that's a fact of life. Most of the time things I don't get that people do don't stay in my mind too long. I just tend to move on through life.
But there are moments where I really don't get what people do. And one of those things happened yesterday.
The following was posted by a Facebook friend yesterdayPlease put this on your status if you know someone who is an oxygen thief, and an asshole. Or maybe a two-faced bastard, or someone who deserves a good hard punch in the face, or your hands around their throat, or a major selfish 'me me me' drama queen. Or even someone that will take advantage of your kindness and give you nothing back. These idiots affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for these Dickheads, but we can raise awareness. Statistically 93% of people won't copy and paste this, so let's see who the 7% with balls are! :)
My very first thought upon reading this was that is way too negative, followed by what's the point to posting that. And finally, it bothers me a bit that people try to guilt tripping others into reposting. I have seen it before and I never get the point.
There was a time in my life where I was the kind of person that paragraph described. But as I look at those moments now I realize I needed to be that person and go through was I went through to become what I hope is a really better person today.
I hope that through my experience I have learned not to be so judgmental about other people. Yes, I still have my moments but I actually feel guilty afterwards.
Just a few months ago I met someone who stole from me.I haven't been angry at that person at all for two reasons. I put myself into that situation which allowed that person to steal from me. And I have stolen in my past (in my 20's, I promise) so why should I be angry at someone who did the same thing?
The people who fit my Facebook friend's posting are going through life lessons of their own. Most are probably good people underneath the rough edges. Some might not be good people now but deserve chances to become better people.
I hope I have gotten to a place in my life where the only things I can't forgive are murder and child molestation. Everything else is just stuff in the overall scheme of things.
What does putting out all that negative thought from that posting accomplish. It just throws negative out into the world. And that does not help anyone.
And even though I know my FB friend may be reading this I got to say trying to guilt trip anyone for anythings is just childish, isn't it?
But maybe that's just me.
But there are moments where I really don't get what people do. And one of those things happened yesterday.
The following was posted by a Facebook friend yesterdayPlease put this on your status if you know someone who is an oxygen thief, and an asshole. Or maybe a two-faced bastard, or someone who deserves a good hard punch in the face, or your hands around their throat, or a major selfish 'me me me' drama queen. Or even someone that will take advantage of your kindness and give you nothing back. These idiots affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for these Dickheads, but we can raise awareness. Statistically 93% of people won't copy and paste this, so let's see who the 7% with balls are! :)
My very first thought upon reading this was that is way too negative, followed by what's the point to posting that. And finally, it bothers me a bit that people try to guilt tripping others into reposting. I have seen it before and I never get the point.
There was a time in my life where I was the kind of person that paragraph described. But as I look at those moments now I realize I needed to be that person and go through was I went through to become what I hope is a really better person today.
I hope that through my experience I have learned not to be so judgmental about other people. Yes, I still have my moments but I actually feel guilty afterwards.
Just a few months ago I met someone who stole from me.I haven't been angry at that person at all for two reasons. I put myself into that situation which allowed that person to steal from me. And I have stolen in my past (in my 20's, I promise) so why should I be angry at someone who did the same thing?
The people who fit my Facebook friend's posting are going through life lessons of their own. Most are probably good people underneath the rough edges. Some might not be good people now but deserve chances to become better people.
I hope I have gotten to a place in my life where the only things I can't forgive are murder and child molestation. Everything else is just stuff in the overall scheme of things.
What does putting out all that negative thought from that posting accomplish. It just throws negative out into the world. And that does not help anyone.
And even though I know my FB friend may be reading this I got to say trying to guilt trip anyone for anythings is just childish, isn't it?
But maybe that's just me.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Ex Nittany Lion's shhhhhhhhhh
The current Penn State Administration had a difficult job to do. Find a head football coach to lead the way through the aftermath of the mess the program created. The best thing, in my opinion, was to find a good coach who was never affiliated with Pennsylvania in any way. They had to find a man who was a good leader with no blemishes in his past, And they had to do it before the recruiting season.
As far as I know they achieved all this by hiring the current New England Patriots offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien. I don't know much about Mr O'Brien except this was his first year as the OC and that he was Tom Brady's Quarterback coach for a few seasons. And Mr Brady might just be the best QB in the NFL right now. So I hope that something good about Mr O'Brien.
But there are a number of Penn State graduates who disagree with the hiring. Before I start copying the quotes I apologize for the font size; it always messes up after I copy things.
Former Penn State Linebacker LaVar Arrington seems to be upset with PSU not allowing interim Coach to be the permanent hire, Wherever Tom Bradley goes, that’s the school I will start to put memorabilia up in my home. I’m done. I’m done with Penn State. If they’re done with us, I’m done with them. …
“By these people making the decisions the way that they are making them, basically coinciding with everything that’s being written about our university, if they get rid of Tom Bradley, that means they in essence have accepted the fact that we are all guilty. You might as well call it all the same thing.”" *quote fromNBCSPORTS.COM
To which I say to Mr Arrington, you were at Penn State while the alleged incidents were happening and in the public eye there is a taint of suspicion on all of you. Penn State HAS to distance themselves from the former administration and coaching staff. They have no other option. There was no way in the world Tom Bradley was going to get the job.
And by the way I think Mr Bradley did a wonderful job this season and should get a head coaching job; anywhere other then Penn State.
And this from another Penn State player, Arrington wasn’t the only former Nittany Lion who feels the O’Brien hiring shafts the man who they feel truly deserves the job — Bradley.
As far as I know they achieved all this by hiring the current New England Patriots offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien. I don't know much about Mr O'Brien except this was his first year as the OC and that he was Tom Brady's Quarterback coach for a few seasons. And Mr Brady might just be the best QB in the NFL right now. So I hope that something good about Mr O'Brien.
But there are a number of Penn State graduates who disagree with the hiring. Before I start copying the quotes I apologize for the font size; it always messes up after I copy things.
Former Penn State Linebacker LaVar Arrington seems to be upset with PSU not allowing interim Coach to be the permanent hire, Wherever Tom Bradley goes, that’s the school I will start to put memorabilia up in my home. I’m done. I’m done with Penn State. If they’re done with us, I’m done with them. …
“By these people making the decisions the way that they are making them, basically coinciding with everything that’s being written about our university, if they get rid of Tom Bradley, that means they in essence have accepted the fact that we are all guilty. You might as well call it all the same thing.”" *quote fromNBCSPORTS.COM
To which I say to Mr Arrington, you were at Penn State while the alleged incidents were happening and in the public eye there is a taint of suspicion on all of you. Penn State HAS to distance themselves from the former administration and coaching staff. They have no other option. There was no way in the world Tom Bradley was going to get the job.
And by the way I think Mr Bradley did a wonderful job this season and should get a head coaching job; anywhere other then Penn State.
And this from another Penn State player, Arrington wasn’t the only former Nittany Lion who feels the O’Brien hiring shafts the man who they feel truly deserves the job — Bradley.
“I don’t want to be affiliated with the university,” former All-American linebackerBrandon Short said, “if they don’t choose a Penn State guy because of our standards, our graduation, all the things that have been important… it’s no longer Penn State, so we might as well be in the SEC. They are intent on turning it into a booster culture. Ira Lubert went out and purchased a national title with wrestling and he’s under the illusion that he can do that in football. Well, ask (Redskins owner) Dan Snyder about that.”
“Penn State is a family and it is real and if they choose to get rid of Bradley and not hire a Penn State coach, then they’ve turned their backs on our entire family.* also fromNBCSPORTS.COM
The last quote from Mr Short makes me wonder if there isn't a kind of disconnect from the former players. The biggest problem was that Penn State was a family and chose to keep a very terrible and horrible secret in house. I can't help but wonder if the players aren't more concerned about the secret being found out more than the sickness that was taking place at Penn State.
Shouldn't the alumni be more concerned with righting the wrongs and 'fixing" the culture more than just keeping things within the family?
Personally, I find the players reactions disturbing and can't help but wonder whether there are more secrets in the Penn State closet.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
A response to a response
hmm. how about if we all agree to not allow disabled people to do some stuff? I'm all for equal rights and all, and I believe the disabled should be able to do whatever they want. but you know, there should be time when the able-bodied people can get away from the disabled and all that having to feel guilty stuff. and there's some stuff we should only let the able-bodied do.
seem ridiculous? mean-spirited? read your post again, dork.
and seriously, you think it's ok for college athletes to benefit financially? you perhaps are missing the point of COLLEGE athlete - since only a few of them get to go be pro players. my beloved Tressel disappointed me greatly and it was right to fire him. But that doesn't mean the silly boys who broke the rules shouldn't bear the consequences of breaking the rules.
I forgot how much fun it is to be your sister. :-)
Because of the holidays, or more honestly because of a lot of holiday football. I really haven't thought of posting a blog in a while. I wasn't sure what I was going to write but I want to get back into the habit so I logged in and did my usually futile check to see if any comments had been left. Well, lo and behold, a comment was left.
Until I read the last line I thought it was a serious response and was going to respond in kind. Now that I strongly suspect that it was my sister I suspect it's a tongue in cheek response. However, from what I know of my sister it's highly possible that she wrote the response after she was able to beathe again.
So I'm going to respond as I would have.
If a group of people want to not allow disabled people to do something that is their right. If a potential boss doesn't want to hire a disabled person to do a job they would be capable of doing that should be their right. Unless, the laws have changed I believe a potential boss has to hire a disabled person over an abled bodied person if the disabled person can do the job.
Sorry, but that is not right. I'm sure some people will be surprised I am saying that but I think people have forgotten we are supposed to be a free country and an employer should not have to hire anyone they don't want to. For whatever reason.
On a little bit of a side note NFL and MLB owners should NOT be forced to interview a person of a minority group before hiring a coach or manager. Again, personal choices.
I seem to be a person people don't like to be around. I say that because a lot of people have left my life voluntarily. Yes, some had valid reasons but some just went poof. A person should not hire me or be a part of my life just because I'm disabled. Again, it's supposed to be a country where we are allowed to make choices.
The truth is I have opportunities to join disabled support groups and I have chosen not to because I am (believe it or not) uncomfortable to be around disabled people. Should I be forced to join those groups if they might do me good? I don't think so.
Sorry, but I don't think I should have to listen to a female broadcaster , deal with people I don't want to or (frankly) wear a seat belt if I don't want to. I like having personal choices and individual liberties. It's supposed to be a free country but there are to many laws and regulation designed specifically limit choices and liberties.
Can you guess what group of people I blame for that?
ps--I hope the next President and Congress kills Obamacare before it cost the country too much $$$.
seem ridiculous? mean-spirited? read your post again, dork.
and seriously, you think it's ok for college athletes to benefit financially? you perhaps are missing the point of COLLEGE athlete - since only a few of them get to go be pro players. my beloved Tressel disappointed me greatly and it was right to fire him. But that doesn't mean the silly boys who broke the rules shouldn't bear the consequences of breaking the rules.
I forgot how much fun it is to be your sister. :-)
Because of the holidays, or more honestly because of a lot of holiday football. I really haven't thought of posting a blog in a while. I wasn't sure what I was going to write but I want to get back into the habit so I logged in and did my usually futile check to see if any comments had been left. Well, lo and behold, a comment was left.
Until I read the last line I thought it was a serious response and was going to respond in kind. Now that I strongly suspect that it was my sister I suspect it's a tongue in cheek response. However, from what I know of my sister it's highly possible that she wrote the response after she was able to beathe again.
So I'm going to respond as I would have.
If a group of people want to not allow disabled people to do something that is their right. If a potential boss doesn't want to hire a disabled person to do a job they would be capable of doing that should be their right. Unless, the laws have changed I believe a potential boss has to hire a disabled person over an abled bodied person if the disabled person can do the job.
Sorry, but that is not right. I'm sure some people will be surprised I am saying that but I think people have forgotten we are supposed to be a free country and an employer should not have to hire anyone they don't want to. For whatever reason.
On a little bit of a side note NFL and MLB owners should NOT be forced to interview a person of a minority group before hiring a coach or manager. Again, personal choices.
I seem to be a person people don't like to be around. I say that because a lot of people have left my life voluntarily. Yes, some had valid reasons but some just went poof. A person should not hire me or be a part of my life just because I'm disabled. Again, it's supposed to be a country where we are allowed to make choices.
The truth is I have opportunities to join disabled support groups and I have chosen not to because I am (believe it or not) uncomfortable to be around disabled people. Should I be forced to join those groups if they might do me good? I don't think so.
Sorry, but I don't think I should have to listen to a female broadcaster , deal with people I don't want to or (frankly) wear a seat belt if I don't want to. I like having personal choices and individual liberties. It's supposed to be a free country but there are to many laws and regulation designed specifically limit choices and liberties.
Can you guess what group of people I blame for that?
ps--I hope the next President and Congress kills Obamacare before it cost the country too much $$$.
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