I don't know whether it is a matter of perspective or just an age difference but Amanda got enraged at me the other day and I can't figure a logical understanding of it.
I got an opportunity to talk with her parent's without Amanda around. I had been looking forward to it to get another perspective on what their relationship really was/is with her daughter. I thought that talking to them was a good thing because I am hoping the living situation/relationship will be a long term thing.
Apparently, my perception of the conversation I had the next day with her Dad is an act of betrayal in Amanda's eyes. I am stunned and shocked at the accusation and her harsh reaction.
I knew before I ever had Amanda moved in that she had a shaky relationship with her mother and badly wantedc to be close to her Mom. I also figured that there would probably be issues between the two that I would never be able to understand.
On the day I had the conversation with her parent's I even realized she would probably be unhappy I talked privately with her parents. I never expected the fury I would receive from Amanda.
Without getting into too much detail I felt that I had learned a lot about Amanda's Mom and Amanda herself after talking with Debbie, her Mom. I was evn pleasantly surprised with some mistakes that Debbie admitted to. And since those mistakes meshed with what Amanda had told me I was not surprised and from my reaction I think Debbie knew that Amanda had said something about the situation, specifically; which I think was a normal thing.
Amanda, however has a different interpretation. According to her I should have acted surprised at what Debbie told me and had no idea about what had happened. I still don't understand why what I did was a bad thing but Amanda did tell me never to talk about things she is doing and I can respect that.
But that was not what would surprise, shock and disturb me.
When Amanda works her parents and I split babysitting duties. Normally. I am not a big fan of kids, but I have already grown to love Wyatt. He is an awesome little guy and I really enjoy spending time with him. But I digress.
Since we share kid watching duties I talk to her Dad every day now. The day after I talked with both of Amanda's parents, Rick, her Dad called me to see what was going on and to see if I wanted him to come get Wyatt. In the course of the conversation, Rick asked me what time Amanda was supposed to be home. I told him that since she was late for work I wasn't sure when she would be home. He then asked me what happened and I told him that she had slept through her alarm but fortunately I woke up for some reason and was able to wake her up and get her going toward work.
Somehow, in Amanda's mind this was a huge act of betrayal. I understand that I may have done the wrong thing by talking about her business but an act of betrayal? Honestly that is a huge jump in logic/
I get that she is hurt, that she is questioning how much she can trust me and mad at me. I get that I should not talk about things that are her business. But other than that I don't feel that I did the wrong thing.
But this happened a little over a week ago and she still rehashes it every day. She still question me about every little detail that I can remember. It's like she thinks eventually I am going to give her a different answer to her questions and then she will be satisfied.
In some of the things she has yelled at me she has crossed a line or two but I can deal with that. She has even read some of my private texts to my best friend in which I have vented about the situation. I don't like what she did by invading my privacy but it's too late to be too angry.
I just what to know when this madness will end to a little rationality and calm can return.
Thank you for allowing me to vent. Surprisingly, I don't think she will ever read this because there is one 29 year old who actually doesn't like going online.
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