Disabled means means human but different

To me there has always been a bit of a strange dichotomy about being physically disabled. I want to be treated like any other person but at the same time I want friends and people I know to remember I have a different way of physically doing things.

I will try to give a couple of examples of what I mean. First the one situation for why this subject is on my mind today.

If you have been reading my postings then you probably know I have a younger woman (Amanda) and her son living with me right now. She works long hours most days now as a waitress and by the time she gets home her feet, neck and back are all in a lot of pain.  I happen to think I am pretty good at massages and Amanda seems to agree.  So, most nights I end up massaging her for a while. Most nights I enjoy it until my hands can't take it any longer.

Last night her feet were really bugging her. Honestly, I didn't want to do it.  A night or two off every once in a while would be nice but I did it anyway.  

It all started good until she asked me to do the ball of her foot. Now this may sound odd to most of you but I really have no idea where the ball of someone's foot is. I honestly believed it was the heel.  Maybe most disabled people are aware of the different part of their anatomy that they are unable to use but that is not me.

After I started rubbing her heel she got upset and said, "no,no,no the ball of my foot. The place where you actually walk on; that's common sense." I was offended and stopped right then and there.

I suppose I have taken a few steps when I was up on my walker and braces but that was not my main way of getting around.  And in my mind taking steps in braces seems to be a lot different from you using your own legs to walk.

I feel that I have never truly taken steps; so I am not really aware of the actual process of stepping.  And I tried to explain this to her  and all that did was frustrate her which just ticked me off. Not a good night all around.

There are also times when I realize a friend really down likes me and forgets about my being disabled for real.

On at least 3-4 occasions I have had friends help me get into their cars by holding my wheelchair so it doesn't move and then forget to put the wheelchair into the trunk before getting into the drivers seat.  To me, that is really when someone doesn't think about the extra work they have to go through to take me anywhere and considers it normal.  That is truly accepting me for who I am.

The funniest occasions are when people ask me to walk with them.  That is hilarious.