High School Friends and Facebook

It really cool to catch up with old high school friends until the inevitable questions. What do you do? Or even worse for me, what's your job?

It's very difficult to say: I had other life lessons to learn and I spent my 20's and early 30's screwing up my life.

On one level I truly know and understand that I had to do what I had to do. I don't know if I was more hard headed than most people, but I do know that I was hard headed.

I did a lot of stupid and yes, illegal things that I should not have done because I thought I knew better. I will not lie and say I didn't enjoy a portion of what I did; because  I did.  I started life in Michigan, grew a little older in Ohio, started learning life the hard way in Ohio, had to move on to Florida, made a side trip back to Michigan before landing back in Florida.  I had some adventures along the way; up until about 10 years ago life was not boring.

It's not all boring now, I am not saying that but I believe my days of adventure are behind me.  And I am lucky I have made it to 45. Very lucky.

The good news is I learned a lot and basically like who I am today. The bad news is that there are unforeseen consequences along the way. There is some physical damage and probably some psychological damage. There are not too many friends left mainly because I don't want to go back to a certain life style. I have cut off some contact from people who are still partying.

And there are the times when I am asked what am I doing now and what about a job. This is a consequence I never thought of and it brings fear with it.

Because I wonder what will happen after I say, I spend a lot of time with my self and my job is to take things one day at a time.   It's not exciting, it's not a lot of responsibility in many ways and I don't know if I am adding anything positive into the world.  But it is my life, and I am OK with that until the questions come.

And maybe its a fault of mine but I don't want anyone to think less of me because of what it looks like I have become. Because  the outside may not look to good but I am a lot better on the inside. And I will chalk that up as a win.