Thanks Dad

I know I should have written this on Sunday but, better late than never. And before I begin, yes, I did call my Dad on Sunday.

As near as I can figure my Dad met my Mom in 1972-73.  I believe it takes a special man to marry into a situation where the woman had a disabled son who, at the time, was not able to do too much and a younger daughter. But that is what Dad did.

As far as  I know the first time I walked on crutches and braces was at their wedding in May 1974. I really don't remember that day, I have hazy little bits and pieces of it but that is all. I don't remember walking on the crutches that day but I have seen the pictures so I know that is real.

I don't have memories of being on crutches at all. I only remember using a walker instead of crutches and that is probably how most people who knew me up until my early 20's probably remember me.

What most people don't know is I used a walker instead of crutches out of fear, plain and simple.  I don't remember falling while I must have used crutches but I think its a good assumption that I must have had a bad enough fall that I refused to use crutches again. I remember a few times in my youth thinking that it was silly that I basically had to have an aluminum bar in front of me to feel safe.

It's funny but as I was writing that last paragraph I remembered a couple of therapy session where someone was trying to teach me to use crutches. Odd.

I don't know how Dad first noticed that I would hold on to cars and put my walker down to get down curbs. I don't know when he first noticed that I avoided the little, not even five inch step at the end of our walk way at home. I always bypassed it and went through the grass.

But Dad definitely noticed it. Boy, did he notice it. And one day he decided to do something about it. And one afternoon we had a little war of wills. He made me go to that step and stay there until I went down that step. I don't know how long we were there, it seemed like an eternity. I seem to remember some tears at some point. It's a funny thing about fears they make little steps into huge hills. The logical side of me knew it was a little step but the fear was greater than that step.

Eventually, I did go down that step. I think for the most part I continued to go down that step for the duration of  the time we lived there.

But a father was trying to teach his son to face his fears head on. And I think I have known that lesson but have not applied that lesson in my life as often as I should have.

But from a father who is not an emotional person. A man who I don't think expresses his emotions much. On that day that father who showed his son that he loved him and that he wanted the best for that boy.

Thank you Dad